


My Baby Blue, You Know It's True

by Criedoutimalone



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Blowjobs, Concert, Drunken Nights, Las Vegas, Last show, M/M, Smut, Swearing, fight, married, one direction - Freeform, sheffield - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2019-03-08 19:03:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 33,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13464585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Criedoutimalone/pseuds/Criedoutimalone
Summary: A semi-Just Married AU.What happens when the boys celebrate their last show with a trip Vegas and two wake up married?Title is a song by Ed Sheeran(Non-beta'd. Be kind :D )





	My Baby Blue, You Know It's True

“Once more! Once more!”

The four boys were hyped with the adrenaline of their last show before the hiatus. Their third show in Sheffield was proving to be one of the best. Emotional? Yes. But in this moment, it's not about the sadness of the last show. It's staring at their friends and family on the side of the B stage chanting for the band to play the hook of “Act My Age” just one more time. As they jump around the stage like lunatics and feel the energy of the crowd, who are jumping with them, as Jon orders the band to play the hook for the fourth time, they can feel it. The end. Not a finite end, but the end of an era. Five years of non-stop touring and pressure and albums and meet and greets and photographs and paparazzi and rumors. Five years of awards and an ever loyal fan base. Five years of growing as artists and as men. This year was the worst and best of it. From starting their fourth world tour, to the devastation of losing a bandmate and brother, to then writing and releasing their fifth album, 2015 was a literal rollarcoaster and they were ready to get off. 

Back to this moment. This moment of standing on stage in front of 36,000 people dancing around to this crazy irish-style tune from “Four.” They feel everything. Do you feel it? 

 

Once “Drag Me Down” ends, the crowd erupts into cheers and applause. They know they have just witnessed the last One Direction concert for a very long time. The boys know it too. They join their band at the stage, take their final bows, and run for the vans. It's all the same routine and yet it feels so different. So final. They have promised to the fans and to themselves again and again that there will be back. So why does it feel like this is it? As they pile into the van, Liam is the first to speak. 

“Can you believe it, lads?? That's it!! Last show!”

“Alright Payno, don't get too emotional on us now. We still got the drive to the airport,” Louis says with a laugh in his voice. 

Liam shucks his shirt off and reaches into a bag on the floor to get a fresh one. 

“Anyone else need a change? I feel like I sweat off a stone during “Act my Age.”

“Pass them all around, Liam! It smells like man in here,” says Harry. 

As Liam passes around dry shirts to everyone, they start discussing the concert specifics. Was everyone on tonight? Any noticeable vocal screw ups? Exactly how much water could Liam and Louis throw on each other? As the van starts to get closer to the airport, Sam, their tour manager, calls them from another van. Of course, Liam answers. 

“Hey boys! Sam wants to know where we decided to go. Did we ever come to a conclusion?”

“Well, the three of us said Vegas, but young Mister Harry has other plans,” Niall says. 

They all turn to look at Harry sitting in the backseat focused on his phone. He looks up with a confused expression. 

“What? You lot know I don't club anymore, so why would I want to go to Vegas? I'll just be in my hotel room anyways,” he explains. 

“Harry, its our last show before we go on hiatus. We want to spend this time together befor-- Yeah sorry Sam, one more minute yeah?-- before we all go our separate ways,” Liam pleads, “Sam, let me call you back in 5.”

Harry stares at Liam. He knows what he is doing. Harry knows he tends to disappear whenever they have any sort of break. Flies out to LA to hang with Jeff and Glenne and just generally do his own thing. When you spend every moment of every day with these three boys, you need a bit of a break. Of course, Liam doesn't understand this. He spends as much of his off time as he can with Louis. And Harry would never say it outloud, but he wishes he could spend some of that time with Louis as well. But he can't. Not since the Larry rumors drove a giant wedge in their friendship and now they can't so much look at each other without twitter and tumblr having a field day with “what does it all mean?” 

“Harold!” 

Harry blinks. He didn't realize how long he'd been spaced out. 

“What's your decision?” Louis asks. 

Liam climbs over the seat to sit next to Harry. He puts his arm around his broad shoulders and leans in to speak quietly directly to Harry. 

“Look mate... We all know we aren't going on some lads holiday or whatever bullshit Tommo was spouting. This is the last time we will all be together in at least a year. You know it as well as I do. I know that you don't usually go with us when we go out and that's cool, yeah? You do your own thing and we all support and love you for it. But right now, Im asking you as my best friend and brother, to come with us. Its only tonight. Then you can fly to your home in Malibu or fly to London to see your mum, I don't care. I care about us four right now. Together,” Liam takes a shaky breath in, “It's been rough this year. You know that? Just... Just come with us. Ben and Meredith are coming too. Sit in a booth with them and hang. Do it for me.”

Harry has his eyes closed the entire speech. He feels so selfish. He doesn't want Liam to think he doesn't want to go because he hates to be out. That's not it. There's so much more he can't say. He takes a deep breath in. 

“Vegas it is.”

 

One of the greatest perks in Louis' opinion of being as “famous” as they are is the private jets. No worrying about kids screaming or rude people reclining into your lap while you're trying to relax. Just the freedom of being able to walk about as you please, drink your beers, and be loud and jovial with your mates. They always take two planes wherever they go together and right now, Louis is on plane A with Liam, Paddy, and Louis' latest bodyguard, Rory. After a few rounds of beers, Liam suggests a game of FIFA as they still have massive amounts of energy from the last show. 

“Get prepared for an arse kicking, Payno.”

“This ain't the field, mate,” Liam teases, “Computer football is the one time I can beat you at your own game. Be prepared to have your little animated men eat grass.”

Louis rolls his eyes at that. Liam never could admit how terrible he was at this game. The only man he could beat at it is Paddy and Louis was pretty sure he just let him win. 

After a few games and a few more beers, Louis finally asks the burning question.

“Look mate, I don't want to bring you down at the moment, but... How have you been?”

Liam's eyes drop slowly. His hands go a bit limp and he sets the controller on the seat next to him. Running his newly tattooed hand into his falling quiff, he deeply inhales. Holding his breath, he almost wants to swallow it. Maybe that would make this moment better. 

“Ya know... I'm... better. Yeah. Yeah I'm a bit better.”

Louis lightly pushes against Liam's bicep. 

“You know it's just me here right? You don't have to lie to me.”

“No... No I'm not. It's just...” Liam sighs deeply again trying to compose himself, “She just left. Like she ghosted out of my life and I haven't heard a word from her. I don't understand. She knew we'd be on hiatus and we could spend so much time together. I just- I don't know what I did.” 

With the last word, a silent tear falls and he catches it before it touches his lip. Liam sniffles and turns away from Louis attempting to collect himself. He feels Louis hand stroke up and down his back. 

“Hey... Don't ever think it's something you did, mate. This was her shit, not yours. I can't tell you how to deal with this, but don't blame yourself, yeah?” 

Liam takes one last deep breath before he turns back to Louis. 

“Now why did you have to make me cry, you little shit!” Liam exclaims. 

They both fall easily into laughter knowing that there's nothing left to say. They are both too drunk for this conversation. 

“Here's another question I got for you, lad,” Louis says, “What did you say to old stick up his arse Harry to get him to even consider coming to Vegas with us?”

“Louis...” Liam warns, “That's your friend and bandmate.”

Louis scoffs. “You know as well as I do we haven't been friends in a long time. We tolerate each other. Hes my bandmate, yeah. But friends? Nah.”

“What happened with you two? Anything I should know?”

Louis furrows his brow, shaking his head. “Nah, bro. Just grew apart ya know? We aren't kids anymore. The days of cuddling on interview couches are way past us.”

“It was more than that, Lou. You two were thick as thieves. Was hard to be around you guys when you were all loved up as you were.”

Louis shoves away from Liam. 

“We weren't loved up! You make us sound like a bloody couple!”

Liam raises his thick eyebrows while tilting his head from side to side. 

“Well... I mean...”

“Shut up, Payno! You are talking some shit! I'm straight!”

“We're all a little gay...”

Louis starts laughing, holding his stomach and falling back on the couch. He stares at the ceiling wiping tears from his eyes. He feels Liam's hand on his knee. 

“Hey you still know Harry better than all of us. Do you think... well..- Do you think he'll come out while we're on break?” 

Louis sits up slowly looking at Liam with questions in his eyes. His mind is racing thinking about Harry telling the world that he is gay. Fragile Harry being so open and honest in a world that just wants to paint him as a womanizer. Sure, they may not be as close as they used to be, but he still loves Harry and doesn't want to see him hurt. 

“I don't know, man. He's been talking about leaving Modest and getting new management. So maybe he will.”

“Do you think that;s wise of him?”

Louis scoffs. “There's a lot of shit Harry does that's not wise, but who the fuck are we to stop him?”

“I know we all resisted at first, but I really like the idea of a break. Time to fucking breathe.”

“Yeah I know. I just want to play football and chill with my family.”

“What?” Liam says nudging Louis again, “No big plans for a solo career?”

Louis looks at his feet and sets his controller aside. He scrubs his hand over his face, smiling tightly. 

“Why the fuck would I do that, mate? No one wanted me back then and no one wants me now.”

“I ain't gonna play this game with you Lou. You know you'd crush it.”

“Do I?” Louis said raising his voice, “Cuz its not like I'm anybodies favorite person at the moment.”

“Hey... You're mine.”

“Shut up Liam, you know what I mean.”

“No. I don't. Louis, stop second guessing yourself. You wanna go solo? You'll fucking bang!”

Louis laughs. “Bang?”

“Fuck off, you tit. You get it? Since when do you care what people think??”

“Look Li, we all know Harry's gonna go solo. He's going to smash all of us. Why would I even try?”

“Heres something: Your voice is different. Your songs will be different. None of us are going to put out anything close to similar. You know that? He'll put out his 70's rock singer-songwriter stuff. Niall will go folk. You know I'm going R&B. You? You can do anything. Your voice transcends--”

“Transcends?? Li, we're too drunk for these words.”

“Lou, stop,” Liam says firmly. Louis looks up and Liam is staring at him. If Liam has been a girl, Louis thinks, he would kiss her the stare is so intense. Liam grabs Louis' arm, right on the dagger. 

“You can do whatever you want on break Lou. But I tell you this. It will be a mistake for you to waste that voice. Ok?”

Louis nods. His mind running a mile a minute. Thinking about their solo careers, the pending night out, Harry and his friendship, everything. 

“Hey Li?”

“Yeah mate?”

“I love you, bro.”

Liam looks at Louis with confusion and fond all at once. He reaches out to bring Louis close to his chest for a hug. 

“I love you too.” 

They sit for a moment holding each other. Knowing now what they know, they both are still fascinated that they hated each other at the X Factor. Louis is the first to break the hug. 

“Dammit when is it ever going to be ok to smoke a spliff on a fucking plane? I mean it is our plane right??” 

They dissolve into a fit of laughter before deciding to play a few more rounds of FIFA. Vegas is still hours ahead of them. 

 

“Could you possibly get the fuck out of the bathroom, mate? Some of us have to piss!” 

Harry rolls his eyes at Niall's yelling from outside the plane bathroom. He's attempting to tame his frizzy hair in the bathroom. Between the water fights and the sweat and the heat, his curls are everywhere. Wetting his hands and running them through the flyways seems to be helping, but he'll have to shower at the hotel definitely. He stares at himself in the mirror for just another second. Being talked into going to Vegas and going to a club is not the idea of a grand evening, but in a way, Liam was right. It will be a long time before they see each other so this will be good for them. But having to be in the same area as Louis in a party setting makes him uneasy. It's not secret that their friendship has strained in the past few years. Anyone with eyes can see that. Of course, no one knows why. People have their suspicions and conspiracy theories. If only it was that simple. 

“HAROLD!”

Harry is startled by Nialls pounding on the door. He smiles easily and opens the door. 

“Your majesty,” Harry says as he bows and gestures into the bathroom. 

“Get out fucker! I have to piss! Take longer in here!” 

Harry laughs and moves out of the way while Niall shoves past. 

“Alright Irish. Calm down.”

Harry can hear Niall audibly moaning from the bathroom. He shakes his head and walks away. 

“I can't tell if you're coming or going right now,“ He yells behind him. 

“I can't tell either if I'm honest,” Niall laughs. 

No one can make Harry laugh like Niall. One of the easiest friendships he has ever had. Harry sits back down on the larger couch and leans back to check his phone. Twitter is exploding over their last show. Especially the hug between him and Louis. It wasn't planned at all. They were all just hugging. What was he supposed to do?? Ignore Louis? That would have gotten more attention though. It wasn't as big of a deal as people made it. They all hug all the time. But now that he thinks about it, Harry can't remember the last time he hugged Louis one on one. He is snapped out of his thoughts by Niall throwing a pillow at his face. 

“Hey! Get off your phone!”

He throws it back at Niall. “I always check twitter after the shows!” 

“Wait for the boys! We can check it at the club!”

Harry sighs. 

“You think I don't know that you are dreading going to this club. It's written all over your face.”

Harry looks up at Niall slowly and gives him a soft smile. 

“That's because you know me more than anyone, Ni.”

Niall grabs a bottle of water and walks to sit next to Harry and slings an arm around his shoulders. 

“Same to you, mate. Cheers.”

Harry looks back down at his hands, running his thumb over his cross tattoo. 

“Alright, spill it, Styles.”

Harry looks up at Niall, confusion on his face.

“What you talking about?” 

“You've looked down since we got on the plane. Was it the show? Or is it you being forced to come out with us?”

“Jesus mate, you act like I hate you all.”

“Well it seems it sometimes. Can you dispute me?”

Harry gets up abruptly and stares down at Niall. 

“Are you fucking kidding me, Ni? You think I hate you?” Hes running his hands through his hair and pacing now. 

“Harry, calm down...”

“I can't! You think I hate you!” He walks to the kitchen to grab himself water. 

“Harry... That's not what I meant!”

“Then what the fuck did you mean!? I don't hate you!”

Niall gets up to walk to Harry. 

“Ok take a breath so I can explain myself. You are getting too worked up.”

Harry stops pacing enough to take a gulp of water. His mind is racing and his heart won't calm down. He takes a few deep breaths and attempts to calm himself. He can't fathom the boys thinking he hates them. Does everyone think this? Have they talked about this before?? He takes another deep inhale and walks back over the couch to sit. He sits forward with his forearms on his knees, sipping at his water bottle. He feels Niall sit next to him and his large hand stroking his upper back. 

“I'm gonna talk now Harry and you're gonna listen.” 

Harry softly chuckles. “Alright mate.”

“Now, I don't think you hate us. Not at all. We're brothers. We all love each other. But you can't dispute me when I say you disappear when we aren't at an official One Direction event. It's like if we don't have a show for a few days, you fuck off to LA or wherever you decide to go that is away from the rest of us. I mean, the three of us went to the Trekstock event and where were you? Gone.”

Harry can feel his eyes start watering. He had never thought about how his absence could affect the boys. He just... He couldn't be around him casually... Him only. And Harry can't tell Niall. He just can't.

“And look mate I know you have been talking to Jeff about him taking over your management and you're working on acting shit and that's fine. But... it's hard sometimes to keep accounting for you being gone at public events when me and the other two idiots are together.” 

They both laugh together. Harry finally sits back against the couch and wipes his eyes off, trying to now show that he was crying. Niall turns towards Harry with his knee pressed to his thigh. 

“I'm sorry we didn't say anything to you before. We all thought you knew. So we just carried on with our lives and didn't mention it. Didn't want to 'disturb the apple cart' I guess. Is that a saying?”

Harry laughs and nods. 

“Ok good. I felt good about that saying!”

They both are laughing now. Harry feels sad, but he's also glad that Niall was finally honest with him. If only he could tell him why.

“I'm sorry too Ni. I really am. I didn't know.”

“Nah man. No worries. I don't want you to feel bad about this. I'm just-- I'm really glad you're coming with us to Vegas.”

Harry looks over at Niall. His best friend. He loves him so much sometimes. Thank god he has him in his life. 

“So am I, Ni.”

“Now hug me, ya cunt”

Harry laughs till he cries after that hugging Niall for a long period of time. Niall pats his back. 

“Alright let me go now. You know I'm still straight.”

Harry lets go of Niall and grabs his face.

“I'll get you one day, my little Irish flower.”

“No thanks mate. Your tits ain't big enough.”

The two of them fall into easy banter after that. Laughing, trading jokes. Harry is feeling better now about the situation. He wishes they would have said something beforehand, but it's ok. He'll remedy this somehow. He'll go out with the boys, do shots, get drunk, dance, whatever he wants. Whatever they want. While he is not looking forward to spending time with... Him.... He can take one more night before the hiatus. One more night until he can spend some time away from Louis. One more night until he can go into seclusion and forget the feelings he has. Forgets the feelings he has had for this man for years. Forgets that he'll never feel the same way. Louis is the reason he bought his $11 million home in Malibu. To move away from London and get into acting and forget about the fact that he is in love with his bandmate. A straight man. Who doesn't even like him. Won't even be in the same room with him. That hug was the most contact they had in 2 years. 

Snap out of it, Harry... He thinks to himself. You can get through one more night. Then take the hiatus to get over him. Once and for all. This can happen. This will happen. 

 

“Ahh... Why wouldn't we get the sky villa?!”

Liam and Louis get to the Palms Casino first and as such, they decide the room arrangement. Louis has decided to make a sweeping declaration that they all stay together for once in the Sky Villa inside the Fantasy Tower. Any other occasion, they all get separate rooms and Louis stays in the bus, but they have said this is a special night so they will go all out. Besides, it's not like they can't afford it. 

“Well I don't know Louis... I was looking forward to the erotic suite.”

Louis nudges Liam's ribs. “Trying to put the moves on me Payno, eh? I'm not that kind of lad.”

“Who're you kidding, Lou?? You'd drop to your knees for Big Payno anyday!!”

The boys turn around and hear Niall before they even see him. He rushes over to the two and hugs them fiercely. 

“Should have know that was you, bottle blonde!” Louis says. 

They all are laughing at each other now. The concierge clears her throat trying to break them all up. 

“I'm so sorry, love. Boys and all that,“ Liam apologizes, “We will definitely take the Sky Villa. Two nights please.”

“Absolutely, Mr. Payne. I will get that set up for you.”

“Alright. This is Paddy. He'll be taking care of specifics, payment, good looks, security concerns, bear hugs, whatever you need.”

Paddy rolls his eyes and approaches the counter as the others start walking away towards a few more men in their team. 

“Hey where's Styles?” Liam asks Niall. 

“Oh he saw Ben and Meredith and helped them to their room. I think they are staying in one of the penthouses. Harry upgraded them. Cause... well Harry.” He laughs at that.

“Yeah he's a real gem,” Louis says with a scoff. 

Liam elbows him in the side. “Come on! None of that! Its party time!” 

They all yell together as their team escorts them to their private elevator that will take them to the Villa. Niall texts Harry to meet them there ASAP. 

 

They are taken up in the private glass elevator to the Villa. Upon opening the door they are greeted by a sleek modern suite. To the right is a bedroom with two beds, large floor to ceiling windows, and one of many 60'' plasma TVs. There is a wall of shimmering tiles leading into one of the many seating areas that overlook the Strip. Floor to ceiling windows give them an almost endless view. There is a bar area with more circular style couches with TVs and a fireplace. Next to that room is the glass-enclosed cantilevered pool that stretches out over the street below. Behind the bar is the dining area that seats eight people and showcases more of Las Vegas' amazing views. This leads back to the fitness room and massage area (“massages later boys??” Niall jokes). One room is tucked away with a sleigh style bed and massive bathroom with mirrored tiles. Upstairs houses the master bedroom with a circular bed with a fireplace and another seating area overlooking the entire downstairs. Another bedroom The bathroom almost floods into the bedroom with only a metallic beaded curtain separating the jacuzzi tub from the bedroom. This is where the boys finish their tour and drop their bags. 

Niall puts his arms around both of the other boys and brings them in for a hug.

“Time to party, lads?? Let's go!”

“Wait wait wait... Don't we need to discuss the sleeping arrangements??” Liam asks, “I mean there’s four beds and all, but who's sharing the two beds room? Who gets the master??”

“I knew Daddy Direction would make a reappearance once we got to Vegas.”

The boys whip around and hear Harry behind them. He drops his Louis Vutton luggage down and joins the other three in their embrace. Louis starts to pull away slowly and walk towards the fireplace. 

“Just in time, Harold. We were discussing room assignments,” Louis says. 

“Oh...” Harry questions, “we don't get our own rooms?”

“Nah mate, one room has two beds so we are deciding who gets that one,” Louis answers. 

Harry furrows his brow. He doesn't want to have to be the one to say he doesn't want to room with anybody, much less Louis. So he instead pretends to be thinking really hard so the boys will have to decide for them. Liam and Niall both know Harry doesn't want to room with Louis and Louis doesn't want to room with Harry. But it seems like the kind of trick they'd pull tonight. 

“After me, Louis!” declares Liam, “You will share a room with me and you will fucking love it! To our room!”

“HUZZAH!” yells Niall.

They all dissolve into laughter and Louis and Liam head to the room downstairs. 

“Well seeing as I'm the better looking of the two of us and I'm older, I'm taking this room,” Niall says. 

Harry laughs easily. “Fine with me my Irish love. I'll head to the other room. When are we heading out? Does anyone know?”

“Nah I don't think so. I think we're all just gonna shower and play it by ear. It's only like 5 now innit?”

“Oh man... I always forget about the time difference. I'm all fucked up.”

“NO worries mate! Get your ass in the shower. That hair has seen better days.”

Harry flips him off, grabs his bags and heads into his room. Sighing deeply, he sets his bags on his bed and starts searching for his toiletry bag. His head is spinning still from the last show, the plane ride, the hiatus that's looming... He doesn't quite know how to deal with the whole Vegas trip. If it had been up to him, he'd be on his way back to LA. Back to his newly bought home in Malibu. Ready to start his break from these boys, this band... that boy. 

As he steps into the shower, his thoughts are overrun with Louis. Good and bad. He remembers first meeting him at boot camp. This energetic, hilarious and beautiful older boy. Twinkly blue eyes and sharp cheekbones. That stupid floppy bowl cut the producers made him get. His smile. His glorious smile. It made Harry melt. He had always known he was gay. Shit, everyone who met him knew he was gay. He was never ashamed of it and never quiet about it. 

That is, until he became one fifth of the worlds biggest boy band. Girls were everywhere. They wanted him. He found it easier to just be “straight.” No one made him have girlfriends or stay in the closet. Harry just found it so much simpler to be desired by all these females than be outcast by them since he would be the token gay member. There were always rumors fueled by his friendship with Louis. Larry Stylinson. What a name! Louis, to his credit, never was bothered by any of the gay rumors. He had girlfriends and didn't think twice about people thinking his best friend was his secret boyfriend. “Let them have their fantasy” he would say to Harry. If only that had lasted...

Harry would like to think that their friendship grew apart simply because of them growing up. They have different interests now and different goals in their lives. They just don't fit anymore. But Harry believes the gay rumors finally infiltrated Louis subconscious and he wanted to make damn sure the world knew he wasn't gay. The separation started slowly at first with them not touching as much as they used to. Then came Louis' more intense friendship with Liam. Then they didn't even interact on stage. Then off stage. Many nights, Harry attempted to have a conversation with Louis about what was happening. They had always been open with each other about everything. But not this. Louis always found a way to talk himself out of it or avoid the issue. Harry gave up after a while and became the more secluded one of the bunch. Flying to LA more and more and spending more time with Jeff and Glenne and avoiding London at all costs. 

Harry's mum, Anne, and his sister, Gemma, were the only two in the whole world who knew the truth. That Harry had been in love with Louis since the video diaries. Of course, he tried to deny it at first thinking that it was just a school boy crush because Louis was so nice to him. But it became so much more. The more they spoke, touched, and just spent time together, Harry knew he was in love. How could he tell his best friend in the world who also happens to be straight that he is head over heels, arse over tits in love with him? The answer is you can't. And he didn't. Harry swallowed his feelings and surged on with life hoping that maybe one day the feelings would go away. They didn't. And they haven't. 

What he feels now is more of a dull love that how it used to be. Mostly because of how Louis treats him. Like hes the nerdy brother in the group of footballers who just wants to learn about the solar system instead of going to a Man United game. He should hate Louis for how he's turned his back on him. But... the thing is... He can't. Even after all this time, Louis is still that boy at boot camp. This energetic, hilarious and beautiful older boy. Twinkly blue eyes and sharp cheekbones. His smile. His glorious smile. The smile he used to share with Harry... and now he rarely sees directed at him. There are moments, especially in interviews, where the spark comes back for Harry. They share a private joke and a laugh... a touch... and it's like he's 16 all over again. Then the cameras stop rolling and he's alone... again. 

He shakes his head under the warm spray of water attempting to get his mind clear. He hears a sharp knock at the door. 

“Hey mate! You about done? We want to leave in around 30 minutes, yeah?” Liam yells. 

“Yeah, I'll be ready!” Harry shouts back. 

He quickly finishes his shower. When he steps out in front of the fogged mirror, he wipes his hand across it trying to see his own reflection. He looks so different than back then. All long hair and tattoos now. He barely recognizes himself. As he towel dries his hair, he once again is reminded about tonight. His stomach drops when he thinks about being in a club with the boys. Will he be forced to ever be alone with Louis? He doesn't want to be awkward or ruin anyone’s night. Thank God Ben and Meredith will be there. Then, maybe he won't be forced to drink too much or dance. 

He heads back into his room to get dressed. After picking out his usual outfit of black skinny jeans, a slouchy black tee and brown suede boots, he heads downstairs where the other three boys are waiting. 

“Oi Payno, decided to take after me did you?” Harry says with curiosity in his voice.

Liam is wearing a dark blue wash jean with a lighter blue button up that he has purposefully left unbuttoned down to his chest. He smirks at Harry. 

“Hey, you ain't the only one with tits to show off, bro.”

Niall laughs, “actually that's a good idea Li. I may have to unbutton a few off mine. Let my chest rug breathe.” He unbuttons the top three buttons of his sheer patterned black shirt ((((Think of that sheer shirt he wore to the AMAs... YUM))))). “That’s better. Louis is the only one who can't let his tits out now.”

Louis smiles, “Well that's cause I'm not the arse wearing a button down am I? Do you know how bloody hot it'll be in that place? I'm the smart one wearing a tank.” 

His signature Skate Tough tank hangs low on his collarbones now, stretched out from all the shows he has worn it on and beaten up by the number of water fights he has had with Liam. His “it is what it is” tattoo clearly visible now. When you put that tank on top of his skintight black jeans, Harry almost salivates. 

“Alright can we all stop complimenting each other and get to Ghost bar? Paddys waiting!” Liam says. 

“Yes! Commence final hangout club night extravaganza 2.0!” Niall yells. 

The three boys stare at Niall for a beat before laughing at him. 

“Mate, you are the worlds biggest fucking idiot. Thank god we love you,” Louis says through his laughter. 

They all head towards the glass elevator and head downstairs to meet Paddy and some other security to escort them to Ghost Bar inside Palms Casino. They decided not to rent the whole thing out for the night, but did reserve a huge corner area and the outdoor patio. If they were going to do one last night, it was going to be done right. 

 

The Ghost Bar sounds exactly like the name. Well... Almost. Its almost reminiscent of a vampire bar. Its decked out in blacks and reds and silvers. The room itself is a model of geometry and design. Murano-style chandeliers hang over the dance area and bars. The sheer windows offer a spectacular clear view of the strip below. The patio area heads straight out of the club where two more bars await. There's even a transparent floor on the patio that leads to the pool hundreds of feet below. The boys arrive and are shuffled outside to the private patio area. Close friends and some family await them there. The wonderful people at the hotel and bar have placed privacy screens on the clear doors leading to the patio to give them even more privacy. They even have their own private DJ outside. It's all the boys could have wanted. 

All four boys disperse to say their hellos and thank yous to all their guests. Soon after, Harry finds his way to a booth near the transparent floor where Ben and Meredith are seated. He sees Niall find Julian and Jamie and make their way to the DJ booth. He's lost track of Liam and Louis, but feels content where he's at. 

“How was your flight?” Harry asks Meredith. 

“Fabulous! You didn't have to upgrade us you know! We're aren't so good to fly coach.” She replies. 

“Speak for yourself, babe, I'm far too famous.” Ben says with a smile. 

A waitress comes over then to get their drink orders. While Meredith orders a water, Ben speaks up. 

“Wait no drink?? Come on darling it's a celebration!”

“No no please. You boys drink. Someone has to watch out for you and it can't just be the security all the damn time.” 

“Actually...” Harry says slowly, “I wasn't going to drink either.”

“NO! Unacceptable! Miss, can you please bring the table a pitcher of your darkest beer and... oh lets say 6 shots of your smoothest tequila and some limes,” Ben says.

“Patron Silver it is then. I'll be right back.”

Harry looks at Ben with disapproval. 

“Mate, I didn't want to drink tonight. Especially not tequila. That shit is way too much for me. I don't drink enough for it.”

Ben reaches across the table to grab Harry's hand. 

“Harry, I'm going to give you some numbers alright? And I want you to listen. Listen carefully. Don't argue. Just nod.”

Harry nods reluctantly. 

“For instance, five. That's the number of years since you have had a true vacation. One... that's the number of band members you lot lost this year.., and it tore you all apart. 368... That's the number of shows you have done. 8.3 million... that's the number of tickets this band has sold in five years. 36... That's the number of countries you have played in. Five... the number of albums put out. Five... the number of albums that have gone platinum. Two... the highest a single has reached on Billboard. And the last number... six.”

Ben pauses as the waitress comes back with their drinks. A pitcher of almost black beer and six shots of clear tequila with a lime wedge on each glass is placed on their table. Harry smiles at the waitress and nods a thank you. Once the waitress is out of ear shot, Harry speaks.

“What did you just make up all those numbers or are you Rain Man and never told us?”

Ben smiles. “I care, Harry. These numbers are numbers I am proud to know. And proud to be even a small part of. So that's why it's important for you to know them as well.”

Harry lowers his head to stare at the hands in his lap. He's rubbing them back and forth trying to come up with a response. He didn't know Ben cared so much. He's always been an amazing friend to them all, but... Harry never knew. 

“You, uh,” Harry coughs, “You said six was the last number. I don't know anything with a six.”

“Ah! That's the best part!” Ben says, “Six... is the exact number of tequila shots that you will do in an hour starting... now.” 

Ben slides a shot over to Harry. Meredith laughs and passes a salt shaker. 

“Drink up Harry,” Meredith says, “He is a man of his word. And all his numbers are correct.”

Harry stares wide eyed at Ben. “Ben... I haven't drank that much tequila since I was... well... never.”

“Tonight is a grand night to start. To the end... or to the pause... and to the future. I can't wait to see what you do in a year. Or even two.”

Harry blushes. It's not that he doesn't know hes talented. Its that he has never been one to take a compliment well. He knows Ben is as excited as he is to see what is to come in the next 12-18 months. Even Harry doesn't know what to expect. And maybe that’s the fun part. Maybe... just maybe that’s the best part. 

Harry brings his left hand to his mouth and licks across his tattoo. He takes the salt in his right hand and shakes a bit on where his hand is now wet. He takes a deep breath in, grabs the shot in his right hand, does a cheers with Ben and Meredith, licks the salt and downs his first tequila shot of the night. This definitely won't be his last. 

 

Over near the shaded doors, Liam and Louis have found their place dancing with friends while drinking vodka straight from the bottle. Liam by now has lost his shirt and is sweating through the white tank he somehow found. Louis hair is matted to his forehead and he couldn't care less. This is their night. The last night before they start their One Direction freedom and dammit, he is going to enjoy himself. 

“Liam!” Louis yells over a Kesha song, “Reckon we made it through two bottles??” 

Liam ponders this and looks at his near empty bottle of Grey Goose. He swishes what little liquid is left around the bottom, shrugs his shoulders, and tips the bottle back to finish it off. 

“I think now we have, Lou!”

They both burst into drunken boisterous laughter. Louis slings his arm around Liam and brings him into a friendly headlock while Liam's arm wrap around Louis waist. 

“Alright you bastard! Let's go find the blonde one!” Liam says. 

Liam and Louis head to the DJ booth where Niall has taken up the responsibility of choosing the music. 

“Nialler!” The two boys yell together.

He looks up from being deep in thought staring at the DJs computer. 

“Oh hey Lilo!”

“Don't start that shit now!!” Louis yells. 

“Whats the matter, Louis? It's better than Larry.” Niall says with a smirk. 

Louis' face drops in an instant. He points at Niall, his anger rising.

“Don't do that, mate. I wouldn't.”

Niall throws his hands up in surrender. “I meant nothing by it, Tommo. I'm pissed. You're pissed. Liam is pissed. Let it go, ok? It was a joke.” 

Louis can still feel the anger in his chest. He's so fucking over the Larry thing. He can't let it go that easy. Even in his drunk state, he remembers everything. The x factor, him and Harry being inseparable, sharing a flat... the rumors. Fuck... the terrible rumors. Harry was his best mate. He wasn't fucking him. He wished sometimes that Harry would have come out so he could say that Harry was gay and he's dating this guy and Louis himself is straight and dating Eleanor. It never would have worked anyways. Everyone had their own opinion about “Larry” and nothing would have changed their minds. 

“Lou!”

Louis snaps out of his thought bubble to Liam in his face. 

“Hey mate, you ok? You know Niall was just joking, yeah?”

Louis takes a deep breath and smiles. “Of course. Lets say we find Harry? If he hasn't fucked off back to the room yet.”

“Actually...” Niall drags out, “Last I saw him, he was in a booth with Ben and Mer and on what I believe was his 3rd beer and sixth shot of Patron.”

Louis and Liam's jaws drop in disbelief.

“Bullshit!!” Liam exclaims, “Now I know you're lying! Harry don't even drink!”

Niall points to the booth where Harry had posted up hours before and sure enough, there he sits... well sways. He's clearly wasted and swaying back and forth to the music. His long hair up in a messy bun and his shirt is now completely off and wrapped around his head almost like a towel after showering. His boots are off and kicked to the side of the table and his feet appear to be in Ben's lap. 

“No. fucking. Way.” Says Louis punctuating every word. 

All three boys make a direct line straight for the table. Once Harry catches a glimpse of them, he throws his long arms in the arm and cries “HEY!”

“Harry??” Liam questions. 

“Yeah mate! Where've you been, man... I have been waiting for someone to come see me tonight and I can't believe I have been sitting with Ben this whole time and where have you been man and I have been sitting here and my shirt is off cause my head got sweaty right?” 

Harry just babbles on and on like this until Niall starts cackling. 

“What you laughing at Niall river? Do you get it? Cause your name is Niall and there's a river like the Thames but its called Nile.”

“Oh my god mate you are so fucking pissed and I have never been more excited.” Niall says. 

“Well thank god you three came over,” Ben says, “Meredith and I are beat and want to go to our room and sleep. Didn't want to leave Harry here alone.”

“Plus who would rub my feet if Ben is gone?” Harry slurs. 

Ben pushes Harry's feet to the floor and begins to slide out of the booth with Meredith close behind. Harry frowns and kicks his feet out like a child who's favorite toy just got taken away. 

“We're off, lads,” Ben says, “It's been a great night. Thank you for everything and... I'm really proud of you lot for this past year. It could have been a complete shit show, but you got through it didn't ya?”

He claps Liam on the back and nods at the other two. 

“Take care of this one. I can't remember the last time he was this drunk.” 

“I don't think he's ever even been drunk that I recall,” Liam says.

“No mate, I have seen him drunk, but not like this,” Louis replies. 

They all turn to look at Louis in question.

“We lived together, come on.” Louis says. 

“Ahhh yes...” Ben says, “Anyways, I'm off. Love you all.”

“Love you boys! Thank you!” Meredith chimes in.

After the goodbye hugs and handshakes, Niall slides in beside Harry with Liam and Louis on the other side. Harry tries putting his feet up on Liam's lap, but Liam keeps knocking them off.

“Come on Li... I'm too tall for this area. You don't have to rub my feet, I promise.” Harry whines.

“Hell no, mate! I'm not having your gigantic smelly feet on my lap. What if the scent of them sticks in my nose and I go to taste my drink and it tastes of fruit and feet?” Liam replies. 

“Oh that's horrible!” Niall says in disgust. 

Harry crosses his arms and pouts, looking down at his lap. He looks up at Louis and they catch eyes. He tilts his head as if asking “well...?”

“Don't even look over here Harold,” Louis says, “I am not holding your feet in my lap.”

“They are clean! I just took a shower before we left! Put on clean socks and everything! And I haven’t even been dancing!”

“Why don't you just put your damn feet on the space between myself and Li, ok?”

“Fine!”

Harry shoves his feet up between the two boys. He continues pouting though all while muttering about how his feet don't stink. 

“Another round, lads?” a waitress asks walking up to their table.

“YES!” Harry cries, “Can I order shots for the table? Wait wait wait... how about if you bring us a bottle of whatever alcohol you like and four shot glasses?? I trust your judgment.” 

The waitress beams. She nods sharply and walks away towards the bar. Niall turns to Harry.

“You think that's wise to keep going? I mean you have already had a lot.”

“Niiiiaaaaaalllllll.... I'm officially on vacation! Let me have some fun! Plus isn't Liam the daddy?”

“Hey!” Liam says crisply, “I resent that! Louis and I are a bottle of vodka down each!”

“I don't really remember much of what I had. Just whatever was put in front of me,” Niall responds with a shrug. With that, the waitress returns with a large bottle of Makers Mark whiskey. 

“I hope you lads don't mind, but this is my favorite drink,” she says timidly, “I usually drink mine with Diet Coke, but shots should be just as good.”

“This will be amazing!” Harry says loudly, “Thank you, love, you have been so amazing! You are an amazing waitress! Whiskey is amazing!”

The waitress laughs. “Thank you very much. Let me know if you need anything else.” With that, she walks away tending to other tables.

Liam grabs the bottle and pours each of the boys a shot. 

“Alright, lets toast shall we?” Liam asks. The other boys all groan. “Don't fucking start! We deserve this!”

“You're right Payno,” Niall says, “Give us your toast and we'll go 'round and everyone should say something.”

“Good idea, Niall. Alright, I toast to this past tour. Started out a mess, got messier but ended amazing. It could have been just... just awful after Zayn left,” Liam clears his throat almost willing away the tears, “You three have been an absolute brick wall of strength for me and I love you... so much.”

The other three stare at Liam in almost disbelief. They didn't expect him to get so emotional. 

“OK enough enough,” Niall says, “I'll go now. Fuckin Payno... trying to make me cry. I'll toast to... this last album, yeah? We finally took more control over what we wanted to do and wrote some pretty fucking fantastic songs and I am so proud of what we accomplished.”

“Yeah... I agree with that Niall,” says Liam. 

“I'll go!” Harry exclaims. 

The other three smile and Liam nods at him to go. 

“Ok... Well... I guess I'm just thankful for our break. It's been so busy and I have been so busy. And I've been pulled in all these directions and everyone watches me and expects me to fuck up or fuck some female celebrity or whatever and I just want to be alone...” Harry looks down and sniffles. He takes a deep inhale and rubs his eyes, “I just want to be me. I want to leave Modest.”

The boys look at Harry in shock. Liam goes to say something, but harry continues his drunken rambling. 

“I'm gonna leave and have Jeff help me cause I want to be gay. I want to be out and gay and have everyone know that it was all a lie and my doing and I didn't date those girls and I want men. I want one man always and I have loved him for years and it's time they knew that... It's time he knew that...”

“Harry harry harry...” Niall interrupts, “Who's 'he?' What are you talking about?”

Harry almost panics. He almost let the alcohol control him. Almost let the truth out.

“Is that what I said? I must have messed that up. All my words are scrambled... my words are eggs.” Harry laughs loudly.

“Are you sure...?” Niall asks tentatively.

“Yeah mate... who would I be in love with?” Harry says with a laugh, “Anyways, so I toast to our break.”

“Louis?” Liam says.

“Lets see...” Louis says, “I can't toast the tour, the album or the break? Tough,” He pauses for a few seconds trying to make the words come to him, “I'm going to toast... you boys. Liam, you have been my best friend and writing partner these past few years and I have enjoyed every minute of that. Niall, you and I have had great writing sessions and I'm so happy to be working with you on football charities. Harry...”

Harry looks up at him almost surprised. He had assumed Louis would brush over him as usual. Louis locks eyes with Harry.

“I'm not going to say it has been easy or normal with us the past year or two, but that doesn't mean you aren't my brother. I'm in awe of your talent... always have been. And I'm so proud of you for wanting to come out. I really hope that works out for you, Harold.”

Harry's eyes water, but he quickly blinks it away and nods at Louis. He could tell Louis right now how he feels. If he doesn't respond favorably, he could brush it off as a drunken moment. He could... He really could. But it wouldn't be real. The four boys all take their shots, raise them in the air, clink the glasses together, and drink down their first shot of the night... together. The first of many. Their night has just begun. 

 

 

An hour has passed and the four boys are still throwing back shots in their same booth. They haven't spent this much time off stage in years. Unless you include all their meetings... which they do not. 

“Oh man, do you remember when Harry's microphone stand got caught and he fell for like 30 seconds?” Niall says cackling.

“It wasn't 30 seconds!!” Harry defends.

“It was like a cartoon. Could not have flailed more if you tried, mate.”

“Not much better than when Payno here fell on his ass and took out Louis with him.”

“Hey I remember that!” Louis says, “Thanks a lot! I landed flat on my arse.”

“It couldn't have hurt that bad then,” Harry laughs. 

“Oi! Are you calling my ass fat, Harold??”

“If the apple bottom jeans fit...”

“Harry!!” Liam exclaims. 

They all start laughing together taking another shot each. 

“Say Niall,” Louis asks, “How many times this year do you think you told the audience your guitar was electric and not to throw water on you?”

“Well excuse the fuck out of me for not wanting to die on stage!” Niall says.

“Like you'd want to go any other way!”

“Touche my friend.”

“And how much water did the two of you waste this year??”

“Yeah...” Harry says slower than usual, “You two did pour out a lot.”

“Ok Pot... How much water did you throw at the crowd or spit out into the air?” Liam asks.

“Don't blame Harry now... He's just trying to be sexy,” Niall says.

“He don't need the water for that,” Louis says.

They all turn and look at Louis sideways.

“Don't look at me that way!” Louis yells, “It's not like we all can't admit that we are all good looking.”

“Well yeah but...” Harry says, “You don't talk that way about me ever... since the rumors...”

Louis looks at Harry with almost pleading eyes. 

“Ok ok ok... I can't do this right now. Lets go back to reminiscing yeah? Remember when Payno's shirt was ripped open?”

“BY YOU YA JERK!” Liam yells. 

They all start laughing and talking about their favorite moments of the last leg of the tour. Harry zones himself out for a second. He's drunk. Really drunk. But did he hear Louis call him sexy? Is he over thinking this? It's not like they don't compliment each other, but Louis hasn't called him sexy in years and even back then it was a joke. Wasn't it? Harrys mind is racing... Stop it... Hes not in love with you... hes not even a friend... 

“Harry!”

Harry's head snaps up immediately. “What? What??”

“Thought you passed out,” Niall says, “Your head was down for a bit.”

“Nah I'm alright. Could use another shot!”

“I'll drink to that,” Louis says and goes to pour them all another shot. Liam puts his hand over his glass.

“No more for me. I'm gonna turn in actually.”

“What!” Niall yells, “Its early!”

“I've drank a lot tonight and I know I'm going to get emotional about Soph at anytime and I don't want to bring you all down. So I'm gonna give you all a fist bump and see you in the morning. Not like we aren't sharing a room.”

“Alright old man,” Louis jokes, “Get your nightshirt on and go to bed.”

Liam smiles, fist bumps all the boys and heads out for the night taking Paddy with him. The three remaining boys take their shots and continue their chatter. 

“Hey Lou?” Niall asks, “Have you talked to Liam? Is he gonna be okay?”

Louis sighs. “I'm not sure. I'm thinking this hiatus will be hard at first for him, but he'll be good.” He takes another pause to down his shot. “Honestly? Between Zayn and Sophia, I'm not sure which one leaving was worse on him.”

Niall and Harry nod as they take their next shot. 

“Zayn was hard on all of us,” Niall says.

“Yeah mate...” Harry says, “I'm glad we had that moment in Johannesburg where the crowd threw things us. It felt good to be yelling out and the fans got out their energy and threw them back. Can't really be that mad outloud about it, can we?”

“Yeah that may have seemed like a good idea, but I curled into a ball on the stage!” Niall says laughing.

“I think I just fought back a bit,” Louis says. 

“It felt good to me...” Harry says. 

Niall grabs his hand under the table. 

“It's ok man. We were all hurt... are hurt... by what happened. But look at the album we made. The tour we completed. We're alright.”

Harry looks up at Niall, both their eyes glossy from the whiskey and the emotions flooding back from March 2015. Niall looks over at Louis. 

“I'm gonna go grab some water for us. I'll be back in a minute or two... ya know... depending on who catches me heading to the bar.”

Louis' eyes widen almost in fear. Alone with Harry? Alone with drunk Harry? It won't end well. 

“Well... I mean the waitress will be over soon right? You shouldn't have to go!”

“Nah it's fine. I can get me own water.”

Niall gets up and leaves Harry and Louis alone. Louis drums his fingers on the tabletop nervously. Whiskey has spilled all over. He then starts sliding his shot glass back and forth between his hands on the table. Harry brings his hands to the tabletop as well bringing them together intertwining his fingers.

“Do you remember that prank call you made to information?” Harry asks quietly, “Looking for Darren? With 6 R's?”

Louis smiles still staring at his moving shot glass. “yeah I do... We really annoyed that man.”

“You. You annoyed that man.”

Louis looks up at Harry, who's smiling wide. He smiles back. “Like you were perfect back then. How many times did we have to tell you to put pants on?”

“I'll have you know... It was less than 10 times.”

“10 times in a six month period.”

Harry giggles at that. “Can't help that I hate clothes.”

“And what about your penis jokes? During the Sugarscape interview? Dirty lad.”

“Hey! I made no such jokes. I merely mentioned you could cover your willy with a carrot.”

“Oh so innocent then yeah? What about when you asked me for a blowjob then?”

“THAT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE ON CAMERA!”

They both lose themselves in laughter. Harry clutching his stomach and wiping away tears. Louis goes to pour them another shot. 

“Mate, I don't know if I can keep going,” Harry says.

“I think you can. You have drank more than this before.”

“Yeah, but I was younger.”

“And you're so old now.”

“I feel old.”

“That's cause you've got the back of a 75 year old.”

“My liver is close to that age.”

“Nonsense,” Louis says sliding harry his shot glass back full of whiskey, “If myself and Niall are still alive, your liver should be just fine. Cheers”

They both drink their shots. Louis immediately goes to fill his glass and Harry's again. 

“Remember the last time you got this drunk?”

“Yeah,” Harry grins, “At our old flat. For my 18th birthday. I'd already celebrated with my parents, but you said we should have a flatmate celebration. You got me a bottle of some cheap strong vodka and a lot of beer. Said we didn't have to drink it all... but I knew you were full of shit.”

Louis laughs. “I was. I knew I'd make you drink all of it.”

“Of course. I would have done anything you asked back then.”

Louis furrows his brows and look at Harry. Harry is looking back at him, but a blush takes over his cheeks. 

“I mean... We were best friends. Why wouldn't I?”

“Harry...”

“Let's keep talking yeah? Its nice. We don't talk anymore.”

“Harry...??”

“Stop! Lou... I don't want to make this into an emotional conversation about what happened to our friendship and how we've grown apart and not talked and you almost had a panic attack at the thought of us sitting alone while Niall got water... I can't do that. Lets just... I was having fun...”

Louis stares at Harry for another moment. He didn't expect Harry to unload like that. He's sure it could have been a lot worse. Louis knows they have grown apart... but he never took the time to really ask why. Louis goes to reach across the table to touch Harry's hand and hesitates. He's not sure hes even allowed to touch or if there are cameras around. And there it is. There's the problem. That's what happened. Louis became so scared of cameras and what people thought... He may have driven away his best friend. He shakes his head. That can't be it, he thinks... it's not that simple. Its going to take more than a few bottles of alcohol to figure this out. 

“Hey Lou... I don't think Niall is coming back. I don't see him.”

Louis looks to the bar near them. No Niall. He then turns back towards the door and sees no sign of Nialls blonde locks. 

“Do you think he went back to the room? Or someone elses?” Harry asks. 

“Knowing Niall in the state he was in? The room. He likes to be coherent.”

“Who knew it would be the two of us still at the party? I thought I'd be the first to leave.”

“Good old Ben feeding you tequila.”

“I fucking hate tequila.”

Louis laughs. “Then why did you drink it you twat??”

“Hey! I was peer pressured.”

“Can you be peer pressured after the age of 13, Harold?”

“I sit here living proof. 21 years old and I was forced to drink tequila.”

“And here I thought I was the only one who could get you to do those kind of things.”

“Nah...” Harry took his next shot, “someone had to take over for you. I guess that's Ben.”

“Well he did a fantastic job if here you sit in front of me absolutely pissed.”

“Take your shot, asshole.”

“Harold! Language.” Louis smiles and takes his shot. “Oi... that must be shot 50. It has to be.”

“Sounds right. Did you want more? Or should we just sit?”

“Ya know what would be fun? Lets leave,” Louis whispers.

“What?? And go where?”

“Shhhh... keep it down, yeah? Let's get an Uber or something and have them drive us around the strip. We won't get a chance to see it tomorrow cause we'll be hungover, right? So lets go tonight! It'll be just like old times! Remember when we used to sneak out on Paul?”

Harry is grinning from ear to ear with his dimples so deep, you could damn near fit a pinky in them. He does remember. But back then it was easier. They could grab a cab and pay him for his silence and go wherever they wanted. Now, fans are quick and stealthy. As soon as they even book an Uber, it's on twitter. 

“Lou... You know I would love to. But you also know how hard its going to be. We'd have to tell someone.”

Louis thinks for a second and nods. “You are right... fuck. Who can we tell?”

“Let's just tell Sam. I mean, we don't have anymore commitments so I think he'll be cool with it.”

“Honestly... I don't think we have a choice. We may as well just tell him we are going with or without his help.”

Harry looks around the bar. “Is Sam still here? Or do we have to text him?”

Louis slyly smiles and holds up his phone. “Oh whats this? I already texted him and a car is on its way??”

Harry laughs. “Louis William! You sneak!”

“Come on Harold. Lets go make bad decisions.”

 

The morning light begins to stream through the window of Louis and Liam's shared room. Of course, it decides to sliver through just enough to light the room. And of course it lands on Louis' face. His face scrunches, still mostly asleep and maybe even a little drunk. He scrubs his hand over his face as if that will help wipe the light away. As he rolls way from the light, his eyes slowly start to open, almost painted shut by sleep. His head is pounding and he feels as if he just played football for hours. He attempts to sit up against the headboard, but his body slides back down. After abandoning sitting up, he starts to look around on the nightstand for his phone, but it can't be found. He can see Liam isn't in bed either. Probably got up for a workout. Not being able to find a clock in the room, Louis guesses it's around 9am. Far too early to be awake. 

“What time did I get back last night...” Louis asks himself. 

He looks under the comforter and realizes he is still fully dressed from the night before, shoes and all. Kicking his shoes off, he also sees he is wearing plastic bracelets on his wrist that say “Little White Wedding Chapel.” Louis furrows his brow trying to remember going to a wedding chapel last night. Why would I go, Louis thinks to himself. Thank God me and Eleanour broke it off... could have made a really bad decision, he continues his inner thoughts. 

“LOUIS FUCKING WILLIAM FUCKING GOD DAMN TOMLINSON!”

He hears a booming voice and footsteps coming towards the room fast. He already knows it's Liam. The door flies open, slamming into the wall with a large crash. Louis instantly buries his head in his pillow and covers his ears. This is not helping his headache. 

“Have you any fucking idea what you have done? Any small clue how much you have fucked up? This is bad, Louis. This is it... this is the worst.”

“Liam...” Louis pleads, “please... I can't do this... Me head is killing me. Can you yell at me another time?”

Liam is standing there stunned. When Louis finally turns and looks at him, that's when he gets scared. Liam is angry. More angry than he has ever seen him. Louis can visibly see him shaking. His face is red, hes holding his phone like he may break it and if humans could breathe fire, this is what it would look like. 

Louis finally makes himself sit up, as painful as it is. 

“Li... What is it?”

“Louis... after we left you last night, do you know where you went? What you did? Mate... It's bad.”

“No. I don't remember anything. I have this stupid bracelet on and that's it. I can't even find my phone.”

“So I take it you haven't checked twitter?”

Louis laughs, “How could I?”

“THIS AIN'T FUNNY LOU!”

“Well how am I supposed to know!?! You aren't telling me anything! For fucks sake, did I kill someone??”

Liam smiles softly and starts building up his angry laugh. He is in disbelief that Louis could really be that dumb. 

“Nah you didn't kill anyone. You just confirmed Larry Stylinson.” With that statement, Liam throws his phone at Louis' stomach. 

“Check twitter you fuckin idiot. And congratulations. Sorry I couldn't make the wedding.”

Louis' eyes are like saucers and he grabs at Liam's phone so fast he almost drops it. He opens the twitter app scared at what he may see. When he clicks over to look at trending topics, his name is in four of them. #Larrystylinson #Larryisreal #Larrylove4ever 

And the scariest one.

#LarryWedding 2015

Louis' breath quickens. His stomach turns and he can feel the sick rising. He scrambles out of bed almost knocking Liam over to make it to the toilet emptying all the contents from the night before. He sits with his arms on the back of the seat, head resting on his arms trying to catch his breath. Liam comes in and hands him a wet towel for the back of his head. 

“Do you need water?” Liam asks. 

Louis nods and Liam hands him a bottle from their mini bar he had with him. Once half the bottle is gone, Louis looks up at Liam with tears forming in his eyes. 

“Make it make sense Li... please.”

“I woke up this morning and after my workout, I was just checking my social media bullshit. And saw all the topics on twitter. I mean, usually there's one or two about us, but its been a while since Larry came back up. I thought it may be from our last show, ya know, the hugging? I clicked on the topic and there were pictures. Of you and harry at a wedding chapel.”

“That... That doesn't mean anything. We could have gone to surprise someone. We were so drunk. There's no way.”

“Are you sure Louis? Cause you don't remember much. Whats the last you remember?”

Louis gets up from the toilet and slumps against the wall. As he takes another long swig from the water bottle, he tries putting the pieces together. He can remember being at the bar with Liam, then going to the booth with the other two boys. They ordered a bottle of some kind of alcohol and were doing shots... That's when it starts to get hazy. 

“We were drinking at the booth, the four of us, right?”

“You don't remember me and Niall leaving?”

“Wait... I... when... you...” Louis stutters out starting to hyperventilate.

Liam crouches down next to Louis and rubs his back. 

“Deep breaths, Lou. You have to breathe.”

Louis starts taking deep inhales through his nose trying to control himself. What happened last night?

“So... When did you leave?” Louis asks quietly. 

“I left around one and I think Niall left sometime after that. He hooked up with your waitress actually... that's another story. And you and Harry stayed.”

“Together? Alone? That... that doesn't seem right.”

“Except you two were absolutely pissed. Like... more than I have ever seen from either of you.”

“Li... enough. I need to know... What happened at that chapel? Cause I think I know, but I'm afraid to look at twitter anymore. Please... Mate... just tell me.”

Liam sighs deeply. 

“Louis... Last night, you and Harry got married at the chapel. Like no joke. There's a marriage license and there are pictures.”

Louis can feel his eyes filling with water. His stomach turns again. His entire body starts to vibrate, starting in his thighs and spreading up into his abdomen. Once his arms start shaking and he can't feel his hands, he lunges for the toilet again. Nothing comes out. He sits over the bowl dry heaving just wishing he could conjure up anything to make this all worth it. Liam is still stroking his back trying to comfort him. Tears are falling freely from Louis' eyes, his nose is running, and drool coats his mouth. He finally sits back against the wall again using the bottom of his shirt to wipe at his face. His minds races with thoughts of how stupid could he be, what will he do now, how mad will the label and management team be, what will his mum and sisters say...

“Liam, does Harry know?”

“Niall is telling him now and we agreed to get you two in the living room area so we can talk.”

Feeling the effects of his hangover pulsing and letting the news Liam told him sink in, now Louis starts to feel... anger. Who the fuck let this happen? Whose idea was it? Who the fuck took the pictures and posted them? 

Liam checked his phone and nodded at Louis. “It's time. Come on. Lets go figure this out.”

Liam helps Louis get up slowly. Once Louis is on his feet, he barrels past Liam to get out of their room. 

“HARRY!” Louis is yelling on his way to the living area near the bar. 

Harry and Niall are seated together on the couch facing the fireplace. Harry sits in his pants with his head on Niall's shoulder. He looks just as bad as Louis does. Hearing Louis' voice yell out his name startles Harry. He looks around back towards the elevator looking for Louis. He comes storming in walking straight towards Harry. 

“This is your fault!” Louis yells pointing directly at Harry, “Yours! I barely want to be around you much less marry you!”

“Louis... Calm down” Niall says.

“You fuck off Irish! This has nothing to do with you!”

“Oi! You fuck off! This has everything to do with me! Its my life and my career too that you pair of cunts are fucking up!”

“Don't call me a cunt! This ain't my fault!”

Liam comes running in and grabs Louis' shoulders and spinning him around. Inches from his face now, Liam is seething.

“You need to pipe the fuck down, Louis. Hear me?”

Louis pushes Liam's chest forcefully.

“Back off Daddy! I don't need this! Why ain't you directing your fucking anger at Harry? We all know it's his fault!”

“We don't know that!” Niall yells.

“You would defend your best friend!” Louis yells back.

Harry stands up suddenly and points at Louis.

“I was yours once you asshole!” Harry screams, his voice breaking, “I was your best friend! Why are you putting this blame on me? Because I'm gay? What is it?”

“Don't you fucking DARE play the gay card on me, Harry. You know me better than that.”

“Do I!? Because my best friend, my brother, my bandmate just came screaming out of his hotel room yelling at me about how all this mess is my fault. Are you telling me you have no blame in any of this? Did I blindfold and handcuff you and force you to come with me to the chapel?”

“Har-”

“NO!! The answer is no!” Harry shrieks. Tears of pure anger falling on his cheeks and down his neck. “For once in your stupid miserable life, you have to take the blame for something!”

“Miserable!?”

“Yes! Miserable!! All you are is unhappy and you are trying to suck me into it and I won't take it!”

Liam interrupts. “Boys boys! We are getting off track. Can we stop screaming at each other now?”

Louis is panting. His face is beat red and sweat is pouring off of him. Harry looks about the same. Niall pats Harry's shoulders and the two of them sit back down on the couch. Liam grabs Louis' arm and drags him around. Louis snaps his arm out of Liam's hand. 

“I can walk just fine, Daddy.”

Liam surges forward grabbing Louis' shoulders, almost touching noses. He speaks quietly yet with intent.

“Stop with the Daddy thing. I'm not the one that fucked up. YOU are. I am trying to help you. So you may want to dial back your fucking attitude. Got it, Lou?”

Louis stares right back at Liam. Seething with anger, he takes a deep breath in through his nose and slowly exhales letting his eyes fall shut. 

“Fine,” Louis says through gritted teeth.

The tension in the air is thick. Harry's head sits cradled in his hands, tears still flowing in anger and hurt. Niall is running his hand up Harry’s back trying to give some form of comfort. Liam and Louis sit on the opposite side of them, both still shaking in anger. 

“Ok,” Liam says as calmly as he can grit out, “Let's all just take a minute here and talk and think about where we can go from here. Management has already called and they are sending our American lawyer now. But before he gets here, we need to calm the fuck down and talk.”

“I agree,” Niall says, “We just need to get this out with us, yeah?”

Harry sits up, wiping the moisture off his face and sniffing deeply. He nods slowly in understanding.

“I-” Harry starts, his voice cracking, “I... I'm so sorry everyone. I know we're in a fuck load of trouble and... Its... Its my fault!” He puts his face back into his hands, sobbing. Niall stopped rubbing his back to throw his arm over Harry's shoulder and pull him into a hug. Harry buried his face into Niall's chest and gripped his t shirt. Emotions were flooding him and he couldn’t control himself. He felt his breath start to leave him and his body started tingling starting in his head and going down his arms. 

“Harry?” Niall said concerned.

Harry's chest constricted and he started to panic. Hitting his chest with his hand, he looked up at Niall with wide eyes. He tried to speak, but only wheezy breaths came out. 

“Fuck. Liam!! Find his inhaler!”

Liam runs off towards Harry's room. Louis sits forward, almost going to the other couch to comfort him. Niall pushes Harry's head forward so it sits between his knees. He also sits forward with him whispering in his ear. Louis feels confused at this moment wanting to stay angry at Harry, but... seeing him like this... brings back memories of his friend panicking like this before the Olympics. The two of them sitting in the car before rehearsal and Harry freaking out. Louis having to calm him quite similar to how Niall is. But Louis can't. He is too mad at Harry to even try to be a friend. Or a husband. Jesus, Louis thinks, how the fuck did this happen...

“I got it!” Liam yells running back into the room, kneeling in front of Harry. He pulls Harry up by his hair to get him to face up. Louis catches a glimpse of his face. Flushed, soaked with tears, nose running... Broken. Harry scrambles for his inhaler taking two deep inhales. Liam is running his hands over Harry's thighs attempting to comfort him while Niall ran his hand under Harry's shirt, up his back to between his shoulder blades. Louis sat frozen, unable and yet unwilling to try and help. After Harry takes two more hits from his inhaler, he starts to breathe easier. He puts his hand over the left side of his chest in attempt to feel his heart rate almost willing it to slow. His eyes close and his breaths start to slow. 

“You back, mate?”

Harry slowly opens his eyes, staring at Liam. His kind brown eyes filled with fear just hoping Harry won't have another episode. Hospital Harry is everyone’s least favorite Harry. 

“Yeah...” Harry says slowly, “I'm ok. Thank you... I'm alright. Lets just talk.”

Liam sits back up and goes to sit by Louis again. Niall's hand is out of Harry's shirt and now resting in his own lap. 

“Look... I know I freaked out and I'm sorry that you lot are stuck taking care of poor baby Harry. I don't remember last night and I don’t know how it happened. I don’t even remember leaving the hotel... Do you, Lou?”

Louis shakes his head, looking down at his hands wringing on his lap. 

“No... I really don't. I mean.. I don't remember even seeing you last night if I'm honest. I know you went to sit with Ben and Mer and I stayed with Liam. But... We were drinking a lot. I haven’t drank like that in a long time. It was the occasion, yeah? I mean I wasn't alone in this?”

“I'm not gonna fault you there,” Niall says, “I drank a ton as well. What was the waitresses name?”

They are smile at his comment. Good ol' Niall. Always trying to lighten up the mood. 

“I'm not-” Louis starts, “I'm not trying to...”

He sighs. Louis looks up at Harry, waiting for him to meet his eyes, 

“I didn't mean to scream at you, Harold. I really didn't. I woke up, my head feels like its in a fucking vice and I've got Liam shouting at me about being... Married... to you and I don't know what my life is right now! This feels like the worlds biggest practical joke, innit it?” 

Harry smiles softly. 

“I feel the same, Lou, I really do. I don’t know what happened.”

“OK for the record, between the four of us, neither of you have any memory of even leaving the hotel?” Liam asks.

They both shake their head. 

“Because if either of you have anything you need to admit, its time now. Not in front of our lawyer. Just us.”

A silence fell over the room. Almost as if the air had been sucked out. Both Harry and Louis sat, brows furrowed, attempting to force out any memories that may have not been washed away by sleep and alcohol. Harry rubbed his eyes in frustration.

“I DONT FUCKING DRINK!” Harry bursts out. The other three boys recoil in surprise. 

“This! This is such bullshit that this happened! I don't drink! I DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO GO OUT! You lot made me! You made me Liam! I wanted to go to Malibu to my house, but no! I just had to go to Vegas with the lads. You don't care about me. You don't care about any of this!” 

Harry gets up suddenly and walks quickly to his room. He can hear Niall call out to him, but ignores it. Heading upstairs, he yanks at his hair in near defeat. He stomps off into his room and throws himself back on the bed. Angry tears threaten to fall again, but he refuses to let them. He can't stand the fact that he let the other boys influence him which then led to the worst decision of his life. How did he get here harry thought. He is a good person. He makes good decisions. What the hell happened?

"Hey"

Harry hears the unmistakable small voice of Louis. He lifts his head off of the pillow and turns looking over his left shoulder.

"How much did Liam pay you to make you come up here on your own?"

"He didn't pay me anything, you jack ass"

"Well apparently the only time you can talk to me on your own is when we are both blacked out drunk"

"The same goes to you mate"

Harry turns his head back to his pillow and takes a deep breath. He then whips around sitting up on the bed facing Louis.

"You know this isn't my fault right?"

"You know it isn't mine either right?"

"Then maybe you should stop treating me like I somehow forced you to marry me."

"Harry I already told you that I didn't mean to scream at you about that."

"Then I want you to look at me, straight in my eye and tell me truthfully that you don't think that this was my fault."

Louis stared at him for what felt like hours contemplating his next move. What should I say Louis thought, should I lie to him and tell him I don't think it's his fault when truthfully I do.

"Your silence speaks volumes, Louis William."

"Well why don't you tell me what you think happened, Harry Edward? Because you seem to have all the answers in this don't you?"

"I never said I had all of the answers. But I'm not sitting here blaming you for an equal part mistake. I know this wasn't your idea and I know that it wasn't mine. What I know is that we were both too drunk to even make this decision. So you ask me who's fault I think this is? Fuck me I don't have an answer."

Louis looked puzzled. Since he was so violently woken up under an hour ago, life hasn't really made much sense. But even he had to admit at this point that Harry was right. They had to stop blaming each other and fighting and figure out a solution so they could move on with the rest of their lives and this hiatus.

"I'm sorry," Louis said softly as if it was almost a secret, "I truly am. I didn't mean to put the blame on you. You are right."

Harry's eyes were locked with Louis'. Green meeting blue. He couldn't believe that the words were even coming out of his mouth. Couldn't believe that Louis would admit that he was right. I mean Louis wouldn't even admit that he was wrong about something silly like messing up Harry's Starbucks order.

"Are you going to say anything, Harold?"

"I'm sorry Lou. I think I was caught off guard by you even admitting that you were wrong."

Louis looks offended. "How dare you! I can admit that I am wrong."

Harry laughs for what feels like the first time in days.

"Thank you for that laugh. I think my body needed it."

"Oi!" They hear Niall yell from downstairs. "The lawyer is here."

Harry and Louis look at each other again. Louis puts his hand on Harry's shoulder, touching him for the first time today. For the first time in what Harry feels like is forever. He can't admit to himself yet that he missed it.

"Let's go figure out what to do about this," Louis says.

 

Their lawyer looked a wreck. Like he has just ran a marathon. His sharp blue suit was the only part of him that wasn't covered in a sheen of sweat. His tie hung loose around his neck and his hands were shaking on his lap. Liam and Niall sat at the bar with a couple of beers in front of them waiting for Harry and Louis to come down. Once they descended the stairs and were back in the bar room, the laywer stood up to greet them.

“Hello. My name is Brian Packer. Please call me Brian.”

They all exchanged greetings and hand shakes quietly. Liam and Niall came back to the couches so they were all seated. 

“So gentleman, I know this is our first meeting and I am so sorry it's not under better circumstances. Modest and Sony have hired me to do some clean up here for lack of a better phrase. I'm going to talk a bit at you and some of it you will like. Most... unfortunately you won't. Bear with me please and I just ask that you let me speak and ask questions after.” 

The boys all nodded lowly. Harry could feel his heart pumping faster and his hands shaking. Niall again put his hands on Harry's to try and calm him. 

“Now, I have already been to the chapel with my team to destroy all photo and written evidence you were there. We do understand some photos are on twitter and my team is doing there best to take them all down, but you all know how difficult that is. We do have the one and only copy of the marriage license which I have with me and it is in fact signed by the both of you. They also had photocopies of your passports. Again, we did destroy all of these documents and paid the chapel a hefty price to be media silent. That, I'm afraid, is the end of the good news.”

“What do you mean??” Louis questions, “How is that the only good news? Can you not take care of this? People get married in Vegas all the time. We fucked up. It has to be fixed.”

“Please, Mr. Tomlinson. Let me continue then you can ask all the questions you want. You are right in some aspects. Yes, people get married in Vegas all the time and yes it can be fixed. But you are forgetting a huge part of the problem. You aren't citizens. This isn't as easily fixed. Your lawyers in the UK as well as me and my team here have been speaking to the Las Vegas Courts trying to figure out a way to annul this marriage and keep it quiet.”

The lawyer inhales very deeply and his head drops to look at his briefcase on the floor. 

“That isn't going to happen.”

He looks back up and his eyes are filled with almost fear and regret.

“The local Las Vegas government have different rules for non-citizens. After hours of debating, this is truly the best solution we came up with without them attempting to prosecute. An annulment is out of the question. They will grant you a divorce only, and really only, if you co-habitate in America for six months. They agreed to Harry's address in Malibu. Louis will have to live there with Harry and not leave the country for six months.”

Louis stands up suddenly and throws Liam's beer bottle at the wall beside the TV. It shatters and the liquid inside bursts over the wall and carpet. The boys and Brian all flinch and Louis lets out a wail that people walking on the strip could have heard. He walks behind the couch and starts pacing and yanking at his hair. Harry sits on the couch dumbfounded, expression blank and tears falling freely. Liam and Niall sit still, not knowing how to react. 

“Mr. Tomlinson, that was probably not wise to vandalize the hotel-”

“FUCK OFF YOU FAKE FUCKING BARRISTER!” 

“Louis!” Liam exclaimed. 

“He is, Liam! He can't help us! He can't do shit! Who the fuck hired him? We could have found one of those stupid lawyer for hire people on the adverts and been better off!”

“Are you kidding, Lou? You know that's not correct. This is shit. We know its shit. Now calm down.”

Louis cackles with laughter. 

“Ok Mr. Awesome lawyer. What happens if we say “Fuck it” and just file for divorce?”

Brian clears his throat, clearly nervous. 

“You face up to five years in prison and/or deportation. You couldn't re-enter the country for... a long time. You don't want this option, Mr. Tomlinson.”

“I don't want this option, Mr. Packer.”

“Lou.”

Harry's silence breaks. The room goes still. He still sits in an almost catatonic state. 

“Can I speak to you, please? Privately.”

The air is heavy in the room. Louis is stunned by this request, but he follows it almost blindly and heads back upstairs to Harry's room. Harry stands up and goes as well. 

“Should we be worried about that?” Brian asks. 

Liam smiles. “It's been years since the two of them have been close. But I have no doubt that they are working this out between the two of them right now.”

 

Louis catches up to Harry in his room standing by the large floor to ceiling window overlooking the strip. His head hands low and his shoulders slumped. Louis walks into the room hesitantly and stays near the door, leaning against the wall. 

“Remember when things were simple? And our biggest problem was what color shoes were we wearing to this show or which interview is lined up next?” 

Louis smiled at Harry's statement. Nostalgia may be something they needed right now. 

“Now we're married. And the prospect of you staying in America with me for six months was enough to make you whip a beer bottle at the wall of a hotel room. I mean... who are you?”

Harry turned around to look at Louis. His face still puffy and red from crying. But now, hurt was in his eyes. Enough to make Louis' expression fall to one of confusion and pain. Even after all the bullshit, Louis still hated to see Harry in pain. 

“Lou. I know. I know this is bad. This is the worst thing to happen to us in a long time and unfortunately it is directly our fault. And I am sorry that you have to stay here for the first part of our break. I know you had plans and they definitely didn't involve staying in the states.”

“Harry-”

“Please Lou. I'm going to finish this if it kills me.”

Harry takes another deep breath trying to center himself.

“I had plans too. This isn't something I wanted. I don't care what you may be thinking. But we can do this. It's not like we haven't already lived together. We know what each other are like. It's six months. Let's just get through this, get the divorce, and you can go off back to London or wherever and move on with your life.”

Louis continues staring at Harry in an almost awe. He knows Harry is right. Its only six months and they can get through it. Of course, the situation is god fucking awful and he still can't believe this is all happening, but... hes right. 

“Ok,” Louis squeaks out quietly, “We can do this. I mean... Your place is big. It's not like we'll be crawling on top of each other.”

“So that's what you are worried about? Seeing me?”

“Harry, please can we no-”

“No we need to talk about this now, Lou.”

“No Harold. We don't. Let's just move in together as quick as possible so we can get this divorce and go back to normal.”

“You can't avoid this forever,” Harry says walking towards the door stopping on Louis side almost touching shoulders before whispering, “After all... You are my husband.”

 

chap 9

http://www.zillow.com/homedetails/29149-Cliffside-Dr-Malibu-CA-90265/20555654_zpid/

 

Two days later and Harry and Louis have begun their cohabitation. 

Harry's Malibu home couldn't be more perfect for this situation. Located near the coast in an area called Point Dume, its well suited for their sense of privacy. It also has six bedrooms all with an en suite so they don't even have to share a bedroom. The gym is detached which doesn't mean anything to Louis since he never works out, but there is a media room that could be his own. The master suite even has a private terrace overlooking the grounds. To top it all off, there’s a huge pool and a tennis court. In the six months the two boys are forced to live together, they don't even have to see each other. 

Most of Harry's things have already been sent from his home in London. His master suite is set up simply with white furniture and a dark gray headboard that matches the soft feel of his duvet. A few books are set on his floating shelves above his desk. All of his journals full of lyrics and poems are locked away in his bottom desk drawer. He had about 11 now. Full of everything he wanted to say and couldn't. All his feelings, desires, loves, lusts, pain...everything. He kept the journals locked away so only he could get to them... like so many other things in his life. 

Harry had shown Louis to his room on the opposite side of the home yesterday. He hadn't actually seen him since. Harry was pretty sure he had locked himself away while waiting for his things to be delivered. If on cue, Harry heard the front gate buzzer. He checked the security camera from his phone and saw the guard checking out a delivery truck. Harry made his way to the front door and saw Louis walking towards the door as well. 

“Hey,” Louis said, “I heard the buzz. I thought it may be me things.”

“Yeah I checked the camera and it looks like a truck. Must be.”

“I can take care of it. It's fine.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, its good.”

Harry turned around to head back towards his room and stopped. 

“Actually, I was going to make some tea. Did you want any? Its Yorkshire.”

Louis stared at him and slowly smirked.

“You don't drink Yorkshire, Harold.”

“No.. well... I...” Harry stuttered out nervous, “I got it for you. I knew this whole thing was shit and wanted to try and help make you feel better.”

“You didn't have to. I definitely have at least a case coming.”

“A case?? How much tea do you need?” Harry laughs.

Louis laughs back at him. “You must not remember our time living together.”

“No I do...” Harry says quietly. 

“Oh.” 

A knock on the door interrupts their almost terrible awkward silence. Harry quickly walks away towards the kitchen to escape the moment. He walks around the large island in front of the stove. The island has six bar stools around for all the entertaining Harry was planning on doing when he bought the home. He sits on one of the stools nearest to the stove. I've got to stop doing that, Harry thinks to himself. He has almost slipped up so much lately. He hangs his head and rubs his forehead trying to make sense of everything... again. His eye sting from the tears threatening to come out. It was maddening to him to be so close and yet still so far away from Louis. 

“Harry?”

He turned to see Louis in the kitchen door frame.

“Yeah?” Harry replied rubbing his right eye with the back of his hand. 

“You ok?”

“Yeah mate,” Harry laughs softly, “I yawned before you came in here. Got those weird yawny tears.”

Louis laughs from his nose. 

“Are you making tea?”

“Aren't you moving your things in?”

“Nah. I have money. I pay people to do that for me.”

“That was the most asshole diva thing I have ever heard.”

“I know. I almost puked saying it.”

They laugh together while Harry gets up to fill the kettle and sets it on the stove turning the burner to high. 

“Have you looked around the house any?” Harry asks. 

“Not much. I have just been sitting in my room, just kinda thinking about how much everything is fucked. I'm supposed to be on my disappearing holiday. Was going to join Niall in Thailand and shit. That man knows how to disappear.” 

“At least you're in California and it is nice here. I'm trying to give you any sort of silver lining.”

“I will admit that its a gorgeous place,” Louis says sitting on the stool almost across from Harry, “You may have to give me a tour later.”

Harry looks at Louis questionably. “You'd want that?”

Louis shrugs. “Why not? We are stuck together for a while.”

The kettle whistles and Harry goes to pour the water into mugs over the tea leaves. 

“I don't feel stuck, Lou. I guess it's cause this is my place. But I don't feel stuck with you, you get that?”

Louis was quiet as Harry sat his mug of tea in front of him. He sat back down on his stool. The two sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments... just enough time for Louis to add milk to his tea and Harry to take a sip of his own. 

“We do need to talk... don't we?” Louis asked. 

Harry nodded slowly. “I have a lot to say. Not just to you or about you. Just... a lot.”

Louis sighed. “I know, mate. Me too.”

 

They sat in silence until both their teas were gone. Both never actually looking at the other for extended periods of time. Almost playing a game of “who's going to start talking first.”

“So...” Louis said, “How should we even start? Should we make more tea?”

“I'm not sure. I never thought we would even have this conversation.”

“Me neither,”

“I can make food if we wanna eat first.”

Louis smiled softly. 

“The fan fiction says you should be making me fajitas.”

Harry looks up at him stunned. He attempts to talk and keeps stuttering. Louis breaks into deep belly laughs. 

“Your face!!” Louis says. 

“Louis! I thought you didn't read fan fiction! We try to stay away from it!”

“Doesn't mean I haven't. Sometimes it's entertaining... and completely sexual.”

“Oh my gosh... can we not?” Harry says laughing, still stunned by Louis' statement. 

“Except... Well now I want fajitas!”

“Fuck you! Me too! Dammit Lou!”

“Please tell me you have the shit to make them.”

Harry walks to the refrigerator and peers inside, moving some things around. Louis also gets up and goes to the pantry. 

“I have the peppers and chicken,” Harry says, “What have you got?”

“I found one onion, about 5 packs of tortillas... seriously Harold why so many... and it looks like you have tons of seasonings but I don't know which to grab.”

“Well first of all,” Harry says putting the peppers and chicken on the island, “I have so many tortillas because I make breakfast burritos and freeze them. Second, grab chili powder, granulated garlic, cumin, salt, pepper, onion powder and paprika.”

“How am I supposed to carry all this?”

“God forbid you take two trips...”

“God forbid you buy the already made fajita seasoning.”

“Do you know how much salt is in those? I can make my own so much healthier.”

Louis rolls his eyes at the seasonings. Healthy Harold strikes again, he thinks. He ends up putting the spices in his pockets and gathers the rest in his arms. He heads to the island and sets everything down as gently as possible though some bottles end up rolling towards Harry. He catches them with a smile. 

“I see you figured out how to get it all with one trip. Congrats.”

“And that is as far as my contribution goes. My cooking skills have not greatly increased since our last cohabitation.” 

Harry smirks at that. He remembers doing all the housework and cooking when he and Louis shared a flat all those years ago. Should have figured he didn't change that much. 

“Well, can you at least get out the cutting board, two large bowls, and the biggest skillet you can find.”

“Ok...” Louis said slowly, “And where would I find all of this?”

“I expect you to look. You live here for now. You should find out where everything is.”

Louis rolled his eyes again. He started going through cabinet after cabinet looking what Harry needed while Harry started mixing the various spices together. After finding everything Louis was looking for, he took his seat across from Harry at the island. 

“Do you have beer here? Or is that not part of your healthy diet?” 

Harry looks up and glares at Louis. “Look... Just because I care about what goes into my body doesn't make it bad. And that being said, there is some Stella in the sun room fridge. Go for it.”

Louis jumped up and practically sprinted to the sun room. Harry shook his head at this. If anything excited Louis more than singing and performing, it was beer. He came back with four beers, placing three in the kitchen fridge. 

“Did you want one now?”

“Nah,” Harry shook his head, “That beer is for guests. I don't even drink it.”

“Always the gracious host.”

Harry smiles to himself chopping the peppers and onions and placing them into one bowl. He starts rinsing the chicken when Louis speaks again.

“So you don't drink, eh? Was that night in Vegas the first time in a while?”

“Its not that I don't drink Lou. I can have a drink or a glass of wine and just chill out. I just don't get drunk all the time. S'not good for you.”

“Was that a slight dig at me?”

Harry looked up quickly shaking his head. “No no no! Not at all. I don't care what you do. I care about my body and health. That's all.”

Louis sat smiling with the beer at his lips and his elbows on the bar. “I know. Just winding you up. I have a feeling our conversation later is gonna get deep and I wanna keep things light.”

“Twat.”

“HAROLD!” Louis shrieks, “I'm shocked! Such language!”

They both laugh as Harry finishes cutting the chicken and coating it in the seasoning. He turns to the stove to start heating the large frying pan with a small amount of coconut oil. Once it starts smoking, he pours the vegetables in the pan and moves it back and forth across the flame coating it all in the oil. After a minute, he pours the chicken in as well. He starts poking at the ingredients with a wooden spatula. 

“Hey Lou?” Harry asks over his shoulder, “Can you take out a package of those tortillas? Just wrap them in a clean hand towel and put them in the microwave for 45 seconds.”

“45 exactly? What about 50?”

“Again... Twat.”

Louis smiles to himself and starts his task. At least he can work a microwave. The smell in the kitchen is almost good enough to make his dick hard. He hasn't had any real food in days. No real appetite to speak of if hes being honest to himself. But now the delicious smell of Harry's homemade fajitas has brought back his hunger full force. 

“Fuck me Harold... Are those done yet? I'm bloody starving all of a sudden.”

“Yeah mate. They'll be done in like two minutes. If you want salsa or anything, its in the fridge.”

“Do you have cheese?”

“Yeah its in the drawer. And don't fret... Its full fat and everything.”

“Ahhh indulging in a few things here and there.”

“Low fat cheese is not cheese. I know my limits. I also don't use low fat peanut butter. It's just wrong.”

Louis went to the fridge and got out salsa, plain greek yogurt and the shredded cheese Harry had mentioned. He also got the tortillas out of the microwave and sat those with the rest of the toppings. 

“I would ask you where the plates are, but I'm guessing you are going to make me look.”

“You do know me a little bit, don't you?”

“You may have grown, but there are parts of you that haven't changed.”

Louis begins rummaging through cupboards looking for plates. Harry took the fajitas off the stove to pour back into the vegetable bowl he has used earlier. Louis finally found the plates and grabbed two. He found the silverware drawer fast and got out two forks. Harry placed a serving spoon into the fajita mix. 

“Alright, after you, Louis.”

“Don't mind if I do. I'm so fucking hungry I'm about to eat the counter.”

Harry laughs and waits for Louis to assemble his three fajitas. For as hungry as he is, Louis is carefully spreading the greek yogurt on the bottom of each tortillas before sprinkling cheese and layering the meat and veggies. It's almost like he's making art out of his food. Harry wasn't expecting this development. 

“I don’t know why I expected you to just make a mess of your food. You are so deliberate with it.”

“I guess I never thought about it. I just like my fajitas a certain way and I'd appreciate you leaving me alone.” 

Louis takes a huge bite of his first fajita and smiles closed mouthed at Harry. Harry scoffs at him and begins putting his food together. They eat in relative silence, just their sounds of chewing filling the room. Both of them were thinking about how to begin the conversation looming over them. Who would start? Where would they even start? They were finishing up their meal and Louis got up to gather the dishes while Harry put the leftover food away. 

“Please tell me there's a dishwasher in this place,” Louis asks.

“Yeah I do. You are standing in front of it.”

Louis backs up and looks at the counter where he was standing. 

“Ah. I am a bit of an idiot.”

“It's only your second day here. I'm not surprised you aren't all the way familiar yet. Give it time.”

Louis sighs deeply and puts all the dishes in the washer. Time, he thinks... I don't want to get used it it. 

Once the kitchen was all sorted, the boys awkwardly stood near the island wondering if they should sit or not. 

“Look,” Harry starts, “There isn't a good way to start this. So lets just do it. Should we sit here? Do you wanna go into the other room?”

“Yeah, lets go to the living room. More comfortable.”

They walked into the large living room near the front door. Simply decorated with a beige patterned sectional couch as well as two separate onyx armless chairs with ottomans. A black two-sided coffee table sat in the middle of the room atop a beige rug. A smaller accent table sat between the chairs with a deep red lamp on the top. Louis sat on the sectional and put his feet up stretching out. Harry chooses to sit on one of the chairs and tucking one leg beneath him. 

“I can start if it's easier,” Harry says, “I'm not even sure where to start.”

“I don’t either, mate. I didn't expect us to even have this talk.”

“Well... Let's just start from the beginning and work our way to the..” Harry clears his throat nervously, “Marriage.”

Louis shifts on the couch and rubs his palms on his thighs. “Yeah... alright. Whats the beginning?”

“I'd say during the Take Me Home tour, maybe? That's when we were at our height and the whole... Larry thing... was at its peak.”

“You think that was its peak? Not when we lived together?”

“True. But I think that was when it was peaking and also when we started to drift apart.”

Louis nods in agreement.

“Lou? I need to ask you something and I really need you to be honest. Don't be afraid to hurt me. This is what we need, yeah?”

“Yeah Harry. I will.”

“Did... did you move out because you didn't want people to think you were gay?”

Louis sits for a beat letting himself think. “Not necessarily. I moved out because it was time for us to live alone. We moved in together to ease the transition from parents to alone, yeah? And it was just time.”

“I don't think you are being truthful with me.”

“I am. That was the main reason. I wanted my own space especially since I was with Eleanor and I needed to be able to be with her alone.”

“Louis... please.”

“What do you want me to say, Harry? That I moved out because I didn't want our fans thinking we were buggering each other?” Louis says close to anger, then takes a deep breath and pauses.

“Harry... Of course that was one of the reasons, but an incredibly small one. We were friends and I could give a fuck what people think. But it made it easier on me to just leave.”

“What about me? I mean you didn't even give me any real explanation. You were just gone. And your timing wasn't convenient considering our last talk before you left.”

Louis stares at Harry almost trying to burn him with his eyes.

“Don't start that shit, Harry. You know I don't care that you are gay.”

“And I know that now! But I tell you I'm gay, confide in you, and a week later, you bought a flat and moved out without any type of real reason. You left me thinking you moved because I came out to you.”

“Harry...” Louis says on a exhale, “That isn't it. It really wasn't. I am sorry if I ever made you think that.” 

Louis hangs his head and stares at his hands in his lap. He brings his knees close to his chest, feeling very vulnerable. 

“I can't believe that's what you thought all this time,” Louis says quietly, “Why didn't you say anything before?”

“I was hurt. I thought bringing it up would be worse. So I just withdrew. Starting hanging with Nick more and Jeff and Glenne and started a different friend group away from you.”

“It all makes sense now. Everything. It was my fault.”

“Yeah... for the most part.”

Louis puts his legs flat and turns off the couch to plant his feet on the floor. 

“Well for fucks sake Harry, don't hold back!”

“We said we wouldn't! I'm not trying to hurt you! I'm just being honest!”

“Yeah I can see that...”

Harry leaned forward with his elbows on his thighs and kept his eyes on Louis. 

“Really, Lou. I'm not aiming for tears from you. This is what we wanted. A real talk. I may upset you and you may upset me. We have to do this.”

Louis runs his hands through his messy hair then bringing his hands back forward and scrubbing over his face. He nods in agreement. 

“Yeah ok. Lets keep going.”

“Can you tell me why even after you moved out we just stopped hanging out?”

Louis sits for a second contemplating Harry's question. He wished he had concrete real answers for him, but he didn't. How could he begin to answer?

“And its not just that we stopped hanging out,” Harry continued, “Its that you almost had a complete distaste for me. I know we grew into being very different people than when we first met. I know that. And I know that we both have mellowed out. But it really started to feel like you hated me. Like everything I did annoyed you.”

Louis almost started to cry. He truly hadn't realized until now how much Harry had been hurting. He was staring at this boy, this man... who he had known for five years and watched grow into an incredible person reveal how badly he had been hurt by his actions. 

“Lou?”

Louis shook his head. “I'm sorry. I'm just thinking. Give me a sec, yeah?”

Harry nodded sitting back in his chair, waiting patiently. Louis' mind was still reeling at this revelation. Harry hadn't admitted his feelings to him until now and it was hitting him like a truck. He felt almost ill. He thought his offhand comments and eyerolls almost went unnoticed by him. Mostly, Louis spoke to Zayn about his irritation with Harry. Zayn listened as he does, but they would smoke and he would forget. He didn't want Harry to ever know. 

“Harry,” Louis began, “I- I am truly sorry for hurting you. I didn't know. I-” Louis choked on his words and cleared his throat. “Well... First, after I moved out, my friendship with Zayn definitely grew. We hung out a lot since we both liked to play video games and smoke. I found a sort of kindred spirit with him. Then my friendship really grew with Liam since we always wrote together. You and I never wrote together. It wasn't a conscious thing. We just have very different styles, yeah?”

Harry nodded in agreement. He was closely listening to Louis' confession.

“I think that's what really started it. As we grew as artists and people, we also grew apart. Then when you started hanging with Grimmy, your whole... thing with him was strange to me. I thought you were dating.”

Harry laughed at that. “Sorry I don’t mean to laugh. I really don't.”

“No no. It seems silly now, but that's what I thought. Anyways... You started hanging with him and you started dressing differently and eating that weird food. I mean you didn't even want to share crisps in the green room anymore. Sarah started having to make organic food for you. It was strange!”

“I started dressing better and eating better so we couldn't be friends?”

“Please Harry. Don't put words in my mouth and don't interrupt. I'm really trying to explain.”

Harry exhaled sharply through his nose and crossed his arms. He didn't want to argue and wanted Louis to explain, but it was becoming harder and harder. 

“You just started to morph into LA Harry aka the Harry we all know and love now. With your YSL and kale smoothies-”

“Ok ok wait! I have never had a kale smoothie!”

Louis started laughing at that which made Harry smile.

“I know, Harold. I'm taking the piss.”

Harry shook his head almost fondly at Louis. Leave it to Louis to try and keep the conversation light.

“I really do think that we just grew into two different adults, mate. It's not that I don't consider you still to be one of my best friends, but we are new people now.”

Louis took another pause to collect himself. He knew the next bit would possibly hurt Harry.

“And I won't lie to you. Not anymore... I really was sick of all the gay rumors. I didn't want the Larry shit to continue. I hated it. Eleanor hated it. I couldn't bite me tongue anymore so I figured the best way to keep us all out of trouble would be to distance myself from you. It hurt me too. Please trust that it did. I knew that you were gay and that really just made my feelings worse.”

Harry looked as if Louis just slapped him across the face. It almost made Louis want to get up and hug him. 

“Don't, Harry, please. I'm trying to get this out the best way I can. But everything I say makes you sad. I'm not getting this out right. I thought because you came out to me that eventually you may come out to everyone and then with the way our friendship was, they would then think I was gay. And at the time, I was so scared of that. If I could go back and slap 20 year-old me, I would. I was dumb and stupid and dumb and stupid...”

“I get it, Louis. I do. It-,” Harry stops to swallow back the lump in his throat, “Its ok. It doesn't hurt as much as you think. It's just making me think back about the last few years and how fucking stupid it is that we weren't friends. I thought it was because I have a crush on you-”

Harry stops suddenly. He sits up straight and can feel his stomach clench. Did he really just say that? He held it in for years and now is the moment is brain decides to let it out. Especially in front of Louis. He closes his eyes as he is unable to meet Louis'. What would he even say to him? That he was joking? What would Louis say? Would he run and hide for the next six months?

“Harry? Can you look at me?”

Harry shakes his head with his eyes still closed. “I feel so stupid. I didn't mean for that to come out.”

“You said 'have a crush.' Do- Do you still?”

Harry shakes his head more violently than before and rubs the heels of his hands into his eyes. He can feel the tears start coming. He can't even pinpoint why hes crying. Angry at himself. Angry at Louis. Feelings he has pushed down were starting to come back. Of course he still felt that way about Louis. But he couldn't tell him. Then Louis would blame him for the marriage. Would think it was Harry's idea because he was in love with him. 

“Harry? Please.”

Harry slowly opens his eyes and sees Louis has moved to the ottoman in front of him. He sits back fast trying to get some space between the two of them. 

“I'm not going to touch you,” Louis says softly, “I just... I need you to explain.”

Harry takes a shaky inhale, willing himself not to freak out. He doesn't need another “run to find his inhaler” incident. 

“Lou... I always had a crush on you. How could I not? But I never let it interfere with our friendship. The love I have for you as a mate is so different that the love-”

Harry chokes again. Fuck fuck fuck, he thinks. Fuck. 

“Harry? Come on. Just get it out.”

“Than the love I have for you as a man.”

“So... It ain't a crush? You love me? You're in love with me?”

“I swear Lou. I never wanted you to know. I was just gonna try and get over it. Really. I didn't want to tell you because I thought you'd blame me for the marriage and I don't remember that night. I thought you'd think it was my idea and that I got us into this mess. I really don't remember.”

Louis just nods. “I don't blame you. I got over all that. It was just me being mad at the whole situation. But... I never knew you were into me.”

Harry nods. “I am. And I wish I never had to tell you.”

Louis tentatively places his hand on Harry's knee. “If it helps you... I used to have a crush on you too.”

Harry's eyes go wide. His whole world feels like its shattering. 

“Don't freak out!” Louis says putting his hands out trying to stop Harry’s panic attack, “I don’t want to run for your inhaler again. Breathe.” 

Harry can feel his breathe leaving him. He stares at the rug trying to ground himself and focus. Nothing is working. His arms and chest start tingling and the feeling is making its way up his neck. Just as he feels himself start to go over the edge, he feels Louis wrap his arms around his neck and burying his face in his chest. 

“Please...” Louis says softly, “Come back... Stay here.”

 

Its funny how memories work. Some stay with you always and you can remember instantly. They are comfortable and familiar and constant. Then there are other memories. Ones that are hidden away and locked until you really need them. Harry has one memory that he has kept locked away for a while now... one that he never knew he needed until right now. 

It was right after the dress rehearsal of “Viva La Vida” on X Factor. All the other boys felt great about the performance and were filled with nerves anticipating the live show. They were in their dressing room just sitting and waiting. Zayn and Liam were talking to each other in a corner, Niall was busy strumming away at a guitar and Louis was picking at the craft service table. Harry was in a bathroom, leaning over a sink, taking deep breaths in an attempt to not have his first panic attack in front of the boys. He loved to perform, but sometimes his anxiety got the best of him. He looked up to stare at himself in the mirror. His eyes were red with tears and he could feel the telltale signs of the tingles in his stomach beginning to move up slowly. He tried to breathe more evenly. Nothing was helping. 

“Harry?” Louis said through the door while knocking, “You alright?”

He couldn't answer. His voice was gone. 

“Harold? Come on... answer me.”

Still nothing. He tried to speak and only a small squeak come out. 

“I'm coming in!” Louis said opening the door. He shut it behind him immediately and went over to Harry. He stroked his curls away from his face. “Oh Harry... whats wrong? You sick?”

Harry shook his head as the tingles were moving toward his chest. 

“What is it? What do you need? Shall I get someone?”

Harry shook his head harder and turned to Louis, his breaths more and more shallow. 

“Lou...” Harry managed to whisper out, “I... anxiety.. panic...”

Louis nodded knowingly. He wrapped his arms around Harry's neck and buried his face in his chest. 

“You're ok,” Louis whispered, “I'm here now. I got you. Stay with me. Just stay here.”

Harry's hands were shaking at his sides. He lifted his arms to try and hold Louis, but the strength was almost gone. 

“Come back,” Louis whispered a bit louder and stroked his fingers on the nape of Harry's neck, “Come back to me. We need- I need you. Come on.”

Harry was able to hug Louis a bit tighter. The tingles started to dissipate. He could almost feel them melting away like snow in the spring. His breath evened out and he snuggled his face into Louis' neck. He hugged Louis even harder. 

“There he is. My Harold.” 

 

This memory came back to Harry in a flood. When Louis hugged him, it was like he was 16 again. Sixteen and in love with his best friend. It never went away. Ever. Tentatively, he hugged Louis back. Much softer than the Sheffield hug and more intimate. Once Harry's arms were around Louis, it was almost too much. While the panic attack went away, the tears stayed. Those were constant. But what surprised Harry the most were the sniffles he heard from Louis. 

“Lou?” Harry questioned.

“I'm sorry...” Louis said not letting him go, “I just... I've been so mad these last few days... Maybe longer... and I- I just- I missed this. I did.”

Harry slid off the chair and onto his knees in front of Louis hugging him harder. Louis slid forward to allow Harry to hold him. They stayed like this for what felt like hours. At first, their hands stayed around each others shoulders. Soon, Louis was bold and began stroking Harry's back. Harry melted into his touch. Being so in love with Louis was a pain and a pleasure. Harry's right hand came around the back of Louis neck and pulled him away from the embrace. 

“Lou?”

“I'm okay, Harold,” Louis said sniffling and pulling his arms away to wipe his eyes, “Just got caught up in memories. You know?”

“Yeah... I do,” Harry replied quietly. 

They both stayed in front of each other for another minute. Neither really knowing where to go from here. Harry moved first, sitting back into his chair. He sat back and folded his hands across his stomach. 

“Lou, I need you to explain the crush thing.”

Louis kept his head down staring at his hands in his lap. He eyed the rope around his wrist and thumbed over it. 

“Remember when I got this tattoo?” Louis asked, “I never thought I'd have any. Always thought tattoos were dumb. Then Zayn got the one for his Gramps. Then you got the star. I started warming up to them. Then we got the screws and it was all downhill from there. Its funny... all the fans have these theories about our tattoos matching. I can see what they mean ya know?”

Harry nodded following Louis' story. He wanted to tell him to speed it up and just answer him, but Harry could listen to Louis talk for hours. 

“I think the tattoos happened subconsciously. I mean the ship and the compass?” Louis chuckled, “I get it. I get why they think that...” Louis cleared his throat, “I got my rope tattoo and I- I always wanted to get an anchor. Something to weigh me down. Hold me to earth. It was around that time we started to separate. My anchor... wasn't mine anymore. Then you got it. Its like you knew.”

“Wait... what does that-”

“Hang on... I'm gonna lose my nerve. So-... So-” Louis clears his throat again, “So it was around that time I started noticing my feelings for men. I mean, I can appreciate a good looking man. And even though I loved Eleanor... I couldn't help looking at you.”

Harry furrows his brows. He felt very confused and his skin started to get hot. 

“You had become this beautiful man and had filled out and I noticed,” Louis smirked, “I didn't talk to anyone about it for a while. Then after feeling like that for a few months, I spoke to Zayn. We talked it all out and thats when I just came to terms with being bi.”

“Bi...?”

“Yeah. And I'm so sorry I didn't say anything to you. I have only know for maybe a year and a half. Well... I have only admitted it to myself for that long. I've been this way since forever. I mean... Why else would I have been so affectionate with you all the time? You were my best mate! But so is Liam and you never see me staring at him like hes everything to me or stroke his arm or get bloody matching tattoos without even trying.”

“Louis... Please can I-?”

“Yeah yeah I'm done. I'm sorry. I rambled.”

“Don't apologize Lou. Ever. It's just... I have wanted you to tell me you liked me for years and hearing it is crazy to me.”

Louis smiled and put his head back down. 

“Lou... Do you still feel that way about me?”

Louis closed his eyes. He knew he'd have to answer him and couldn't just run away. If there was a time to be honest with Harry, it was now. He's staying with him for six months. It will come out somehow.

“Harry... This is a hard question. It really is. You told me earlier that you loved me and that's a major thing. But... am I in love with you?”

“No Lou... That wasn't the question. That wasn't ever the question. You said you were attracted to me and that you had a crush on me. The question was 'do you still feel that way.'”

Louis sighed. “Yes... Yes Harry. I am still attracted to you.”

Harry lets out a shaky exhale. He wants to run. He wants to hug Louis again. He wants to kiss him. Too much has happened today. 

“I don't know where to go from here, Harry.”

“Me neither, Lou.”

They sit in silence. Both staring at each other not quite knowing what to say to one another. Louis shifts and keep his hands firmly locked between his thighs. Harry runs his right hand through his hair tousling it lightly. 

“Here's what I think,” Harry says breaking the silence, “I think we have had enough confessions tonight. I feel better about you being here for six months and honestly, I feel better about our friendship as cheesy as that sounds.”

“I know what you mean though.”

“OK good. So... Why don't we grab another drink and I'll show you the backyard... aka the pool.”

Louis laughs. “Yes, can we please? I can't have anymore seriousness tonight.”

“Yes for the love of God yes! I'm going to grab myself a Stella. Yes... I am getting a beer. For me.”

“Why Harold Edward Styles, my husband, is grabbing a beer for himself? I cannot believe it!”

Harry clutches his stomach and laughs at his statement. 

“Would my husband like a beer as well?” Harry asks. 

“Harry... if you don't stop asking dumb questions...”

They both laugh at that and head back towards the kitchen. 

“Harry, you go ahead and grab the beers. I'm just going to raid the pantry and attempt to find some kind of chocolate.”

“Top shelf all the way to the back. I keep a few chocolate bars where I can't see them.”

“Of course. I'll get them and meet you right outside the sun room.”

Once Louis has the chocolate, he heads outside the sun room where Harry is waiting. There is patio furniture on the cement slab that looks unused. They walk through the grass past the pool house that Harry plans to use as a guest house when his family comes to visit. The backyard is rather large as it is about a 20 yard walk to the pool. Tall fences surround the entire property as well as lush trees that add another layer of coverage. The hotel sized pool has a newly installed walk in that reminds Louis of walking into the ocean. 

“Did you have the bottom of the pool painted to look like sand, Harry?”

“Yeah I did. I liked the look of it. That’s why I had them install a walk in so it looks like your walking into the Pacific.” 

“Well... I'm going to try it out.”

“Did you want to go back to the house and get your suit?”

Louis tilted his head at Harry. 

“Really? My suit? Harry I have pants on. I can go in with them.”

“Oh... oh ok.”

“Will this offend your delicate sensibilities?”

“Shut up, twat!”

They both laugh and Louis takes his shirt off first. Harry immediately looks away, not wanting to be caught staring. He tries looking in his peripheral at Louis, but is less than satisfied with the view. He wants to be allowed to rake his eyes over Louis golden skin. The small amount of chest hair. The tattoos on his chest. His soft stomach. His ribs... Harry is a bit obsessed with Louis ribs. He can slightly see Louis removing his trousers. Harry struggles with turning to stare at his strong legs. His thighs... his beautiful thighs. And of course... his bum. That perfect, plump, rounded, bite-able bum. He would live between Louis cheeks if he was allowed. 

“Harry you can look at me. We have seen each other naked. Me in my pants is nothing.”

Harry turns slowly and smiles. “I know mate... Its just... because of our conversation I wasn’t sure if you'd feel awkward if I sat and watched you change.”

“Nah mate. I don't mind. You like how I look. I like how you look. I'm waiting for your shirt to come off.” 

Harry is stunned. Louis winks at him and starts walking into the pool water.

“Oh my Lord... The water is perfect. How is this possible?”

“I keep it at 70 degrees...” Harry speaks slowly as he is still processing Louis flirting with him. “Lou?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you... did you want me to come in...?”

“It's your pool. Do what you want.”

“Well... I don't have pants on...”

Louis laughs. “Do you ever?”

Harry smiles. “Well... Ok... but don't look! Let me get into the water.”

“Oh you don't want me seeing your cock, Harry?”

“LOUIS!” Harry yells, “What has gotten into you?”

Louis is up to his waist in the water and laughing wholeheartedly. “Mate, we had a bit of a hard conversation earlier. I just want to lighten things up. And you know what? I feel so much better now that you know more about me, ya know?”

Harry nods. “Yeah I get that. I'm just not used to it quite yet.”

“Well we got a while to rekindle that friendship flame, my ball and chain.”

“In that case, look all you want at my cock because I tend to not wear clothes still.”

“Let it all hang out, Harold!”

Harry laughed again as he pulled his shirt off over his head. As he started to remove his socks, Louis waded deeper into the water and couldn't help but look at Harry. As cheesy and cliché as it all sounded in his head, he couldn't believe that the 16 year old boy he meet five years ago. He filled out so nicely. He had beautiful lean muscles and yet his hips stayed soft. Louis always loved putting his arm around Harry's lower back and resting his hand on his love handles. It had been way too long since he was able to do that. Before Louis knew it, Harry's back was to him and his jeans were being peeled off. His back was so broad and Louis watched it flexing as he pulled his jeans off his ankles. 

“I know you're looking at me, perv,” Harry says. 

Louis snaps out of his daydream and smiles. “Harry, you wound me.”

“I'm not turning around until you go under water,” he says over his shoulder.

“So I'm to stare at your naked ass until then?”

“Lou!”

“Ok ok... I'm going underwater. You have 7 seconds to run into this water before I see swinging dick.”

“Hurry up!”

Louis plugs his nose and dunks underwater. He tries opening his eyes to catch a glimpse, but sees nothing but blur. When he resurfaces, Harry is against the wall leaning on his back with his elbows on the side. 

“The water is perfect. You were right, Lou.”

Harry's hair is slicked back and dripping lightly onto his chest. Louis licks his lips since his mouth has gone dry just looking at him. Its strange. Louis has had a sexual attraction to Harry for so long, but has suppressed it. It only took that small conversation and confession to bring his feelings back full force. It also doesn't help that Harry is nude and five feet from him. 

“Twenty questions?” Louis asks. 

“I'm game,”Harry says shrugging.

“I'll go first. Are you going to come out while we're on hiatus?”

“Jesus, going right for the serious huh?” Harry laughs, “Umm...well I haven't really told any of you lads yet, but... I already left. It hasn't been announced yet. I signed with Azoff.”

“Wow... I mean you said you wanted to leave, but I had no idea you already had.”

“Yeah... I've been wanting it for a long time. And Jeff has been so amazing to me. This will be huge for me. So to answer your question... Yes. I have talked it through with my new team and we decided to wait until after we are divorced. We don't need more negative shit tossed your way.”

“Why would it be negative my way?”

“I just don’t want everyone to think that we are actually together... I feel like me coming out while you're here will make it worse.”

“I get what you are saying, but... If you want to come out, I want you to. I could give a fuck what people think.”

Harry moves away from the wall to dip into the water up to his shoulders. “Ok then. I will ask my question in response to that statement. Why don't you come out as bi?”

“Because there is way too much stigma around bi people. They are disrespected the most in the LGBT community and most people don’t think bisexuality is a thing. They will just say I'm gay and am just trying to cover my relationship with Eleanor.”

“But you just said you don't give a fuck what people think...”

“I don't. I'm worried about the other bi people mate. I don't want them to be scrutinized because of me.”

 

Harry stops moving and just stares at Louis in awe. 

“What, mate? What happened?”

“Its just... I get it. I get why you don't want to. And I'm just... Inspired. I can't explain it. I'm just gonna move on and ask another question. Louis... Have you jerked off since you have been in my home?”

“HARRY!”

Harry shrugs and splashed water at Louis. “Come on. This was your idea.”

“And I thought I'd take it to the dirty place first.”

“You haven't really been my friend in a while so who knows whats going on in my mind...”

Louis glares at Harry in fake anger. “No Harry. I have not.”

“Have you wanted to?”

“It's not your turn!”

Harry puts his hands up in defeat. 

“Its my question,” Louis says, “Ok... I'm going to stay on this sexual path... Whens the last time you had a shag?”

“A week before we got married. Have you wanted to jerk off since you have been here?”

“Harry! You can't gloss over your hook up! Come on! Who was he?”

“A random. Met him through some friends of friends. Signed an NDA and we fucked.”

“Can I ask a follow up....?”

“Then I get two questions!”

“Deal. Do you top or bottom?”

“Both. It depends on who I'm with. I really like both. Sometimes I like being a bit submissive and that's when the bottom comes out. Then other times I just want to slam into someone and that's my top.”

Louis clears his throat and wills his erection to stay down. He can't think about Harry fucking someone right now. 

“So answer my first question, Lou.”

“No. I haven't.”

“Ok. And this next question is important.”

“I'm ready.”

Harry came a bit closer to Louis. He was about a foot away... so close if Louis wanted to, he could rest his hand on Harry's lovely hips... 

“Would you let me kiss you right now?”

Louis went to speak and a stutter came out. He felt like an idiot. His body started to tremble and he couldn't think.

“Lou...” Harry whispered, “Please.”

“Yes...” Louis whispered back and lowered his head, “Are you going to?”

“Yes I am.”

“Harry... wait... Can you just... Go slow. Its... Its just-Its you and its me. This past week has been such a fucking wreck. I mean... we went from barely talking to now sitting in a pool together talking about kissing. This is crazy!”

“I know... I know Lou. I'm just letting you know that I really want to kiss you. And if you'll let me, I will.”

“Can I touch you first? Not like that! It's just... I wanna touch you.”

“How about this? I'm gonna stand right here... You take your time.”

Louis nodded slowly. He kept his head down at first. He took a small step forward until he could feel the waves of heat off of Harry. Tentatively, Louis brought his right hand through the water to rest on Harry's hip. He immediately let the breath out he was holding in an almost relief. This is what he has wanted for so long... it didn't even feel real. He brought his other hand up to his other hand and started stroking with his thumbs. Even through the water, Louis could feel how smooth his skin was. He leaned forward and put his forehead on Harry's chest.

“You can touch me, Harry,” Louis whispered. 

Harry immediately brought his hands to Louis' shoulders and linked them around the back of his neck. 

“Harry... I have... I have always wanted you like this... I'm so- I'm so sorry...”

“Lou, don't. I don't care.”

Louis brought his face up, lips so close to Harry's. He looked into Harry's eyes... Green and glowing in the moonlight. He has always loved Harry's eyes. 

Harry felt the air between the two of them get heavy. He wanted to surge forward and finally kiss Louis. All these years of want and need... so close to being fulfilled. But he would sit in this moment forever just to let Louis take the lead.

“Do it,” Louis said.

And just like that... Their lips met for the first time. Its fire. Its ice. The world stops turning and everything stills. The water around them doesn't even move. Harry moves his right hand into Louis hair holding his head still. Louis left hand reaches around to the small of Harry's back and pulls him closer. Their mouths haven't even moved yet. Their lips lined up perfectly and was nothing short of a comet shooting through space. Harry pulled back first to breathe and Louis whined. 

Harry was breathing deep and resting his forehead on Louis'. Both of their eyes were closed taking in the moment. 

“Harry... I'm gonna kiss you again now.”

He didn't let Harry answer before he pressed his lips back... Back to where they belong. Louis took the lead by opening his mouth and slowly licking the inner part of Harry's upper lip. Harry opened his mouth immediately and licked the inside of Louis' mouth, tasting every part of it. In this moment, nothing mattered but this. The two men... who had been friends for years... finally getting what they both wanted. They started to become frantic. Hands reaching all over each others backs and gripping each others hair. Louis suddenly pulled away and back away from Harry.

“I'm sorry... Harry I don't want to stop...”

“Then why...?”

“Because I don't want to stop... and I'm very aware you're naked.”

They both start laughing and Harry approaches Louis again. He places his hand on Louis' cheek. He softly kisses Louis... soft and quick. 

“Louis... It's ok. I'm not trying to fuck you in this pool.”

Louis raised his eyebrows. “You're not?”

“Well... Do I want to? Sure. But the pool isn't the first place I'm going to fuck you.”

“So... You have plans for that?”

“I have for years, Lou. But I'm not sharing any of that.”

Louis smirks at Harry. “I have thought of it too.”

Harry moved around Louis so his chest was against his back and he wrapped his arms around Louis' stomach. He hooked his chin over Louis' shoulder. He turned to whisper in Louis' ear.

“But that doesn't mean we are done here.”

Louis twists his neck to look at Harry and puts his hands over Harry's resting on his stomach. “Oh we're not...?”

Harry kisses his ear, then his jaw. “No... we're not. Lou? I'm gonna take your pants off.”

Louis shudders. His whole body heats up and he can feel his dick start to fill. He nods and feels Harry's thumbs hook into the elastic of his boxers. He drags them over his bum and down his thighs. Harry presses gentle kisses to Louis' arm as he bends to further lower his pants. Louis kicks his foot up to help Harry get the boxers off. They float away as Harry lifts up Louis' arm to kiss his ribs... Finally kiss the perfect ribs he has dreamed about. Louis' head leans back in pleasure as his dick stands fully erect begging to be touched. He turns around and yanks Harry's face up to kiss him. He starts moving backwards towards the mock shore Harry had painted.

“Come here,” Louis said against Harry's lips, “Wanna see you... gotta get you out of the water.”

They continued moving back and back until they slowly descended onto the shore and laid down, lips never leaving each other. Hands roaming over each others upper bodies. Louis' hand went from Harry's collarbone, over his pec rubbing his thumb over his nipple, and lowering until he stopped right above Harry's groin. 

Harry's breath stuttered. “Lou... Please.”

Louis lowered his hand until he felt the thick base of Harry's cock. Harry broke their kiss to moan. He tucked his head into Louis' neck.

“More Lou... Please...I want it so much.” 

With that statement, Louis wrapped his hand around Harry's cock and stroked once. Harry was whining and his hip thrusted up once.

“Shh....” Louis whispered, “Your so desperate for it, babe.”

“For you Lou...” Harry breathed out, “I'm desperate for you.”

“Harry... please fucking touch me. This is going to be embarrassingly fast.”

Harry licked his palm and brought it down to Louis' cock rubbing the head first before stroking slowly up and down. Louis' broken moan almost made Harry come right then.

“Fuckin christ Harry...”

“Never... I never thought I'd have you like this.”

Louis kissed Harry again. Fast, hard, rough... everything he wanted. Both of them stroking each other off slowly. Such a difference from their kiss... the juxtaposition making everything so much more heightened. Louis' hips were rolling into every stroke of Harry's hand. Harry fit his thigh between Louis', their legs tangling and humping each other like horny teenagers.

“Harry...” Louis said on an exhale, “I'm so fucking close...”

“Me too... I want you to come Lou. I wanna feel it. Then I'm gonna taste it.”

“Fuck... Harry...” Louis moaned out as he shot into Harry's hand. Harry's slowed his strokes milking every bit of come from Louis. Louis breath was heavy and slow... his heart rate through the roof. Harry released Louis' dick and brought his hand to his mouth and licked his fingers tasting Louis. 

“Fuck... Louis stroke me faster... I wanna come tasting you...”

Louis' strokes Harry's dick faster like he wanted, licking Harry's neck and up to his earlobe biting gently. 

“Come for me, babe...” Louis whispered in his ear. 

On cue, Harry held his breath while he hips shook and come shot up onto his chest and stomach. He kept thrusting up with Louis' strokes slowly never wanting this orgasm to end. His breath was erratic and chest was pounding. He felt a wet stroke across his stomach.

“Lou?”

“Mmm... all that healthy eating makes you taste amazing.” 

“Jesus Lou...” Harry said grabbing the back of Louis head and kissing him, tasting a mix of himself and Louis. He could do this forever... lay here kissing Louis under the moonlight, just the two of them. Louis breaks the kiss first this time. 

“My god... I never thought we would do that.”

“Me neither...” Harry said, “But I have good news for you!”

Louis sat up on his left elbow and reached his right hand to place on Harry's stomach. “And whats that, Mr. Styles?”

Harry grabbed Louis' hand and kissed his palm. 

“I'll do that with you everyday for the next six months... if you let me.”

Louis smiled and leaned down to gently kiss Harry's cheek. 

“Fuck yes I will. What else is there to do?”

 

The next morning, Harry was up early doing yoga in the backyard. During his poses, he couldn't help but let his eyes wander towards his pool. The scene of what he considered the best sexual encounter of his adult life. All of the times he had fantasized about Louis couldn't even compare to what he felt last night. The first time Harrys hand felt Louis' cock... He shuddered with the memory. They had gone their separate ways last night and Louis was still in bed... of course. He wasn't sure how this day was going to play out. They hadn't discussed what had happened between them and Harry wasn't even sure if he knew. They weren't drinking enough to be drunk so Louis couldn't blame the alcohol. Harry tried to put it out of his mind and finish his yoga. 

 

Once Harry was finished, he went inside to make his breakfast smoothie. As he was moving about the kitchen, he heard feet shuffling towards the room. He smiled knowing how Louis dragged his feet when he was tired. He put the kettle on as soon as he heard the shuffles.

“Why.....” Louis whined.

Harry looked up at the voice from the doorway. “Why what?”

“Why are you awake? It's 8am... Aren't we on vacation or something?”

“You can go back to bed, Lou.”

“I would if it wasn't so bloody bright in my room. I'm going to have to get some darker curtains.”

“We can go shopping today if you'd like. I know that room is pretty bare anyways and I want you to be comfortable while you're here. S'not like we don't have the money.” 

Louis scoffs. “Throwing your money around on me, Harold? Is this your thank you for the handie last night?” 

“What?” Harry says with a surprise, “No... no-n-no Lou... I wasn't- That's not-”

Louis smiles and puts his hand up. “Harry. Please don't have an aneurysm. It was a joke.”

The kettle screamed out at that moment making them both jump.

“Did you put the kettle on for me?” Louis asked.

“Yeah... I figured you'd want tea.”

“Thanks... That was really thoughtful.” Louis got up to make his tea.

“Should we talk about last night or...?” Harry asked tentatively. 

Louis turned to face Harry while he was finishing brewing his tea. “Do you want to?”

“I mean... I just... I at least want to tell you that for one, I don't regret it at all. And two, that was one of my all time fantasies come to life.”

Louis laughed and shook his head. “You're a trip. Harry, I don't regret it. Not at all. And yeah it was insanely hot. And honestly... I was hoping that we could just say it happened and not dig too deep into the 'why.'” 

Harry nodded. “Yeah, I understand. Just roll with it?”

“Of course. We can do that.”

Harry turned the blender on at that point, having waited for a break in the conversation. Once done blending, he poured the strawberry mango smoothie into a tall glass and sat at the island. 

“I have another thing to add though, Lou.”

Louis gestured with his mug of tea for Harry to continue.

“Would you be opposed if it happened again?”

Louis tilted his head thinking. “I suppose not. If it happened naturally like last night.”

Harry's eye widened. His heart rate elevated with the thought of touching Louis again. “Oh-ok... How-How far would you want to go?”

“Harry I'm not gonna plan out our hookups,” Louis said with a laugh, “I'm pretty open to anything, mate. I mean... I have seen your cock now. Held it in me hand. Can definitely imagine you fucking me.”

Harry's dick twitched at the thought of fucking Louis. He tried to subtlety press his right hand under the island on his dick to relieve some pressure. It didn't get past Louis. He set his mug down and started to walk around the island toward Harry. 

“Like that idea do you? Me bending over for you? Letting you split me open?” He reached Harry's spot at the island, gripped his knees, and pulled him around to they were facing each other. He parted Harry's knees and moved to stand between them. He put his hands behind Harry's neck and went to take out his bun. “Or... are you thinking about me fucking you?” He leaned forward to put his lips on Harry's ear. “Fuck I love your hair... Never put it up again. I love it down so I can play with your curls.”

Harry shuddered and brought his hands to Louis' lower back sliding them to his bum. 

“Harold! Going straight for the ass? What a slag,” Louis says dragging his lips down Harry's jawline to his neck. Harry put his head back slightly allowing Louis to take control of this situation. “Bet you'd do anything I asked, wouldn't you?”

Harry nodded slightly, letting out a small moan as Louis pulled the collar of his shirt down to plant soft kisses to his collarbones. 

“Hmmm....” Louis hummed against Harry's skin, “What do I want with you?”

“Lou...” Harry whispered, “Please...”

“Please? Please what, Harry?” Louis said still kissing his collarbones while the other hand was softly resting on Harry's thigh, “Shall I tell you what I want? Or do you want to tell me, babe?”

“Lou... want you...”

“I know you want me... I want you too,” Louis said. He then backed away from Harry leaving him breathless, arms suspended in the air. He palms his semi hard cock. “Take off your shirt, Harry. Slowly. Wanna see your body stretching out for me.”

Harry nods and stands up. He crosses his arms in front of his stomach gripping the bottom of his tee shirt. He swallows nervously and slowly brings his tee shirt up, arching his back to get the stretch Louis wants. Louis continues palming himself, stroking through the material of his shorts. Harry gets to his chest, covering his face with his shirt.

“Stop right there, Harry,” Louis demands. 

Harry stops, shaking. He is unable to see Louis and is nervous and hard. His breathing increases and he tried to listen for footsteps. Before he can even begin to think about where Louis is, he feels a wet strip being licked across his fern tattoos. He shudders and almost drops his shirt down. 

“Are you trying to move away, Harry?”

He shakes his head fast. “No no no... Lou... Scared me. Keep going.”

Louis' hands come to Harry's love handles, stroking up and down his sides all while still licking and kissing and biting his way across Harry's stomach. 

“Take the rest of your shirt off.”

Harry takes the shirt off over his head throwing it to parts unknown. He keeps his arms resting on top of his head, unsure what to do with them. Louis starts making his way further upwards, stopping when he gets to his right nipple. His rubs his thumb over the bud and brings his tongue to flick it. Once his mouth captures the nipple, sucking and biting softly, Harry all but screams out in pleasure. 

“So noisy, Harold,” Louis says still mouthing at Harry's nipple, “Didn't peg you for a screamer.” He then makes his way to the other nipple, biting and sucking at that one while his right fingers lightly scratch and pull at the right. “Guess you like these played with, eh? Didn't get to play with them last night. Glad I get to today.” 

“Can I touch you, Lou?”

“Hmmm...” Louis drags out while inching his way up towards Harry's throat, “I wonder...” Louis kisses his chin, “How long...” his right cheek, “You can hold out,” his left cheek, “Without touching me,” ending with his nose. 

Harry's eyes are focused intently on the blue eyes staring at him. His body is trembling with anticipation. His cock is fully hard and leaking with pre-come, begging to be touched. 

“Then again...” Louis whispers in Harry's ear as his hands start to pull down Harry's shorts, “I'd love your hands in my hair as I blow you.”

“Fuck Lou... please...”

Louis slowly drops to his knees, pulling the rest of Harry's shorts down. Face to face with Harry's hard cock, he leans forward and presses kisses to the base. Harry brings his hands down immediately to Louis' hair pulling him closer. Louis put his hands on Harry's hip and turned him so his back was against the island. He then brought his right hand up towards Harry's face. 

“Lick,” Louis said.

Harry lapped at Louis' palm like it was an ice lolly on a hot summer day. Louis kept his face in Harry's groin, breathing him in.

“God you smell fucking perfect... You work out this morning? Your sweat... fuck me,” Louis said almost breathless. He took his hand back and stroked Harry's cock. Harry swore and took his hands out of Louis' hair to brace himself on the island. 

“Don't take your hands off me, Harry. I want your hands in my hair.”

Harry's hands returned to Louis' hair, gripping it softly. Louis leaned back slightly and looked up at Harry while sticking his tongue out to lick the tip of Harry's cock. Harry's mouth was open in amazement. He couldn't even believe this was real. Louis, the man he has loved for so long, was about to give him a blowjob. Harry's shallow breaths were beginning to speed up as Louis softly licked the head of Harry's dick. 

“Jesus, you get wet, don't you?” Louis said, “I love it. Can tell you eat healthy. You're sweet. Smell so good.”

“Fuck... Louis... shut up... I'm gonna come just listening to you. Its too much.”

“I'm not even saying anything dirty! You're too easy, Harold.”

“Been waiting for this so long... Please Lou. Please...”

Louis smiled and pressed a kiss to the tip of Harry's dick. He sticks his tongue out and takes all of Harry into his mouth, wraps his lips around the base, lightly sucking and pulls back wards until his mouth was empty again. The moan Harry lets out at this small maneuver is nothing short of pornographic. Louis smiles before taking Harry back into his mouth, slowly bobbing up and down letting his tongue swirl around the shaft tasting every bit of him. He removes his hand from the base and slides both hands to Harry's hips holding him against the island moving his mouth with intent. 

“God dammit Louis... This- I- Oh my god...”

Louis hummed around Harry's cock, satisfied with himself. He gently let his bottom teeth graze under Harry's shaft making Harry's legs shake. Louis let his cock pop out of his lips.

“Don't fall on me now,” Louis said with a smirk.

“Don't fuckin stop, Lou. I'm already so close...”

Louis removed his hands from Harry's hips. His left stroking over Harry's shaft while his right reached inside his own shorts to pull his hard dick out giving himself a few tugs. Louis moaned out in relief. His dick had been begging for some attention, but he couldn't take any off of Harry. Louis put his lips back on Harry's cock, now bobbing faster and bringing his left hand down to start slowly fondling Harry's balls. He could feel Harry start to tremble and his breath stuttering. He pulled of Harry's cock, looking up at him. 

“I want you to come in my mouth, yeah?”

“Fuck Louis! Are you kidding? Get back on me!” Harry pulled Louis by his hair deep back onto his cock making Louis lightly gag. Harry held Louis' hair keeping a deep fast pace. Louis willingly let Harry take control of him. He gagged and had spit pooling the corner of his mouth, starting to dribble down his chin. Louis was stroking himself faster feeling the familiar prickles of his own orgasm starting to overtake him. 

“Lou... I-I'm...”

Harry can't finish before he's holding Louis' head still and coming into his mouth, feeling Louis lightly sucking and swallowing back everything Harry is giving him. Harry's moans ring inside the home as he struggles to stay standing as his arms try and hold him up against the island. Almost on cue, Louis is coming over his own fist and moaning on Harry's dick. Louis pulls off of Harry and leans his forehead on Harry's hip trying to catch his breath. Harry's hand was still in Louis hair now just playing with the strands. After a few deep breaths, Louis laughed against Harry. He leaned back and looked up at Harry who looked thoroughly fuck. His hair was a mess, he has sweat around his hairline, and tears pooling in the corner of his eyes. 

“Well,” Louis said still laughing, “That happened.”

Harry smiled bringing his hand to cup Louis' cheek. “Yeah... It really did.”

Louis got up slowly and tucked himself back into his shorts. He grabbed a towel off the counter and wiped his come off his hand. Harry rearranges his hair and goes to pull back up his shorts looking around for his shirt. 

“If you are looking for that shirt, Harry, you can just stop. Stop wearing them completely.”

Harry smiles and grabs Louis' hand pulling him into his body. “If there's a no shirt rule for me, that goes for you too.” 

Louis brings his arms around the small of Harry's back and looks up at Harry. “Deal.”

Harry presses his lips against Louis softly, speaking directly into his mouth.

“I won't forget about you making yourself come, Lou. You stole that from me and I will get it back.”

Louis smiles while still kissing Harry. He pulls back to look at him. “I'll be waiting for it.”

Louis pecks Harry fast and turns to walk out of the kitchen, waving over his shoulder. Harry stands there is a flurry of disbelief and pure joy. Having Louis' mouth on him in any way is a fantasy. He now has the beautiful memory of Louis' tongue wrapped around his cock. He shakes his head and laughs at the whole situation. He can't believe that in a matter of one week he has started a break from his band, married the love of his life in Vegas (whether that was a good or bad thing he hadn't decided), had him move into his Malibu home, fought with him and now had just received a blowjob from Louis in his kitchen. What is his life?

He struggled to even move forward to continue on with his day not wanting to move from the spot Louis left him in. While his mind was racing with thoughts of joy and happiness, it also had doubts and fears. Would they keep hooking up like this? Would Louis ever feel the same?

Would Louis walk out his door in six months and never look back?

 

The next weeks that passed, Harry rarely saw Louis. Harry was in and out of meetings with his new managers and meeting with friends he had missed. Louis was out and about LA with friends as well working on a possible guest judge spot on America's Got Talent. They rarely even said hello to each other much less had time to discuss their budding sex life. Sunday seemed to be the only day they were both off for the day. 

After going to breakfast with Jeff, he comes back to quiet in the house. Harry wonders if Louis is gone to Starbucks again for what feels like the 80th time in a month. He heads down the hallway to peek into Louis' room. He gets to the door and softly knocks. 

“Lou? You in?”

“MMMppphhhhh...” Harry heard from inside the room, “Ssshhhh....”

Harry smiles and cracks open the door knowing full well Louis was still asleep. He saw Louis snuggled under his covers in a little ball. He had finally gotten dark blue curtains to shield the morning light. He snuffled against his pillow attempting to burrow his face deeper. 

“Sorry Lou..” Harry whispered, “I'll let you go back to sleep.”

“Harry,” Louis said softly with a whine, “Harry...”

Harry cocked his head to the side and stared at Louis, curious. He couldn't tell if Louis was calling him over or still sleeping. 

“Hmmppph...” Louis continued on as he rubbed his face on the pillow and his legs started to move back and forth creating friction. Harry stared at Louis squirming in his bed listening to him softly moan and whine in his sleep. He was sure Louis was having a dream now... and he was sure he was involved in this dream. Harry moved to the end of the bed, kneeling down and putting his hands on the duvet. He pulled it back slowly revealing Louis only in his pants. Harry smiled with mischief on his mind. It was finally time to get his orgasm. 

Louis barely noticed his blanket gone and turned over on his other side with his hands under his head. Harry grabbed his ankles lightly and turned him to the left to get him on his back. Louis sniffed and rubbed his hand over his nose. Harry stilled his movements waiting for Louis to relax back into a quiet sleep state. Once Louis' breathing evened out, Harry moved forward on his knees between Louis' legs. He curled his fingers over the waistband of his boxers and slowly started moving them to mid-thigh. Once Louis semi hard cock was out, Harry leaned forward resting his weight on his left arm at Louis' side and brought his right hand to fondle his husband. He gently stroked over Louis' dick before wrapping his hand around it bringing it to full hardness. Louis shuffled a bit on the bed, not quite waking. That's when Harry made his move.

“Lou,” Harry whispered before kissing the base of Louis' cock, “Time to get up.”

Louis inhaled deeply, his eyelids fluttering, as Harry took a broad lick from base to tip of his dick. With that move, Louis gasped and woke up, sitting slightly forward on both elbows looking down at Harry. Harry smiled up at him and took another long lick at Louis' cock before taking him fully into his mouth. Louis threw his head back, falling onto his pillow and moaning. His back arched in pleasure as Harry worked his hand up and down his shaft while also thumbing his balls and sucking while moving his mouth around him. He saw stars as Harry rubbed his thumb nail lightly under the head while also licking at the tip. 

“Jesus, Harry... What the fuck?”

“Told you I'd get one back.”

Louis looked down at him happily licking and sucking away at his cock. Harry took his hands off Louis' shaft and put them underneath his hips. He looked up at Louis, waiting. Louis took this as an open invitation grabbing the back of Harry's head and thrusting slow and deeply into his mouth. Harry's spit starting dripping onto Louis' groin and it was dirty and hot and wet and it just spurred Louis to thrust faster. Even Harry's gags sounded beautiful. His eyes watered and he moaned unabashedly on Louis' dick. His sounds making Louis want to come instantly. He slowed his thrusts and let go of Harry's hair. Harry popped off Louis' dick and took a deep breath.

“Fuck Lou... That was so hot,” Harry said breathless back to stroking Louis' dick, “I want you to come on me.” Harry moved forward and laid his cheek on Louis' stomach. He stroked Louis' dick faster, collecting some of the spit on the base. The room was filled with the soft clicking noise of Harry's fast strokes and Louis' stuttered inhales. Harry kissed Louis' abs, sucking small bruises into his soft skin. 

“Come for me, Lou. Wanna feel it on me. Taste it.”

“Fuck Harry!” Louis nearly yelled before his stomach clenched and he was coming in streams hitting Harry in the cheek and mouth. Harry slowed his strokes and licked his lips, tasting everything Louis gave him. He removed his hand from Louis' dick to collect any come from his face and Louis' stomach so he could lap it up with ease. 

“Christ...” Louis said, “What the hell was that about?”

Harry smiled and turned his head toward Louis. “Haven't seen you in a while. You looked cute sleeping. Wanted to blow you. Need anymore reasons?”

“Nah...” Louis said running his hand through Harry's hair, “Best way to wake up next to a cup of tea. Did you bring one of those?”

“Nope. I'm sure the kettle's still hot from earlier. I had tea before I went to breakfast.”

“Cheers.”

Harry went to sit up, pressing his hand to his own cock willing it to go down. Louis suddenly sat up and pulled Harry over him to lay on his back and swung his leg over Harry's hips. With nimble fingers, he quickly unbuttoned Harry's jeans and shimmied them down with some difficulty trying to get them just below Harry's cock. Once the jeans came down, Harry's cock slapped against his tee shirt, the tip again wet with precome. 

“Fuck I love how wet you get,” Louis said rubbing the tip with his palm to gather the precome and ran it up and down Harry's shaft gripping slightly and moving swiftly, “Come for me, Harry. I want you to get your stupid slouchy tee all dirty.”

Harry's hips jolted, his hands gripped the bedsheets on his sides, and with eyes closed, he moaned outwardly. Louis removed his hand to spit in his palm and continued stroking. Harry came embarrassingly fast after that spurting onto the bottom of his shirt as Louis continued to stroke him through his orgasm. Once he felt Louis' hand leave him, he opened his eyes slowly to see Louis licking his own hand. Harry turned his head to the side against the pillow smiling.

“Naughty,” Harry said. 

“Says the man who just woke me up with a blowie and asked me to come on his face.”

Harry thrusted his hips up almost knocking Louis off of him. He grabbed Louis' sides squeezing playfully making Louis laugh heartily. 

“I give! I GIVE!” Louis yelled. 

Harry let him go and Louis dismounted, his feet planting on the floor. He stands up, rearranging himself in his pants. Harry sat up, put himself back into his jeans, and stood up next to Louis.

“Do you have plans for the day, Lou?”

“Actually, no. Damn. First day in weeks. Ain't we supposed to be on break?”

“From the band yes,” Harry said heading towards Louis' door, “Not life.”

“True I guess. You don't have guests do you? I don't feel like putting on joggers... or a shirt.”

“Good because as I remember this is a shirt free home.”

Louis smiled at that. “Your shirt is on.”

Harry grabbed the shirt at the back of his neck, pulling it over his head. “Happy?”

Louis walked up to Harry running his finger down the top of the butterfly tattoo to the waist of his jeans. “Now I am.” He pecked Harry's lips quickly as he walked past him. Harry smiled throwing his shirt on Louis' bed as they both headed toward the kitchen. Louis turned the burner back on with the kettle to reheat the water as Harry sat at his designated stool. 

“How's Americans Have Talent going?”

Louis laughed. “Americas Got Talent? Good. I think I'll be a guest judge this season. Should be a laugh.”

“You'll be good at that you know? You have an ear for music.”

“Thanks Harold.”

“Of course. Can you hand me a water bottle while you are up?”

Louis opens the fridge to grab the milk and a water bottle for Harry. He throws the bottle to Harry. As he begins fixing his tea, Harry clears his throat.

“Did you want to do anything today?” Harry asks.

“Mmmm... I think I wanna stick around the house today. I've been so busy lately. Just want to relax. Maybe blow you later.”

Harry nearly spits out his water. “Lou!”

Louis shrugs. “What? You asked.”

Harry laughs. “True I did ask. I kinda wanna stay around the house too. Maybe make you walk around naked.”

“Make me? You don't have to make me,” Louis says with a smile as he drops his pants down on the floor kicking them up in the air and catching them with this right hand, “I have grown to love being naked.”

Harry's eyes widen as he slowly looks up and down at Louis' naked body. He still can't wrap his head around all of this happening to him. Louis Tomlinson is in his kitchen. Naked. He can still taste his come in his mouth. This is Harry's reality. 

“What? Are you just gonna walk around holding your pants all day?”

“Nope,” Louis said popping the 'P,' “I'm gonna fold them up and leave them on the kitchen table. Because it'll bug you all day.”

Harry smiled. “I've changed. Leave them wherever.”

Louis laughed at that walking naked to the table throwing his pants on top. He turned back to look at Harry, who had been watching his every move. 

“Are you perving on me, Harold?”

“I've literally had your cock in my mouth. We are way past perv.”

“How did we end up here?” Louis asked walking back to the island, leaning forward on the island to drink his tea, “I mean... the last few weeks have been insane.”

“I don't know. I mean, I know on my side it's been building up for years and as soon as you gave me an in, I took it.”

Louis blew on his tea looking at Harry through his eyelashes. “I haven't give you an in just yet,” He says with a wink. 

Harry tilts his head to the side. “You know what I mean, twat.”

Louis smiled sipping his drink and rubbing his right foot against his left calve. “Harry...” Louis said quietly, “Can we have another conversation today? A semi serious one. I'll put clothes on so it won't seem ridiculous.”

Harry raised his eyebrows at Louis. “A serious convo? Like the one we had before?”

“Yeah, but different. I've... I've got some things to say.”

“Ok. Umm.. When?”

“Now? I mean... We can do it later, but I don’t want it hanging over us.”

“I get that. Yeah let's go back to the living room. Put your pants back on at least. I can't promise I won't stare at your dick the whole time otherwise.”

Louis stood up and laughed at that. “Oh Harold... At least you're honest.” Louis walked over to grab his pants and slide them back on. He walked towards Harry and extended his hand to him. “Come on now.”

Harry looked at Louis' hand then to his face. His expression softened as he placed his hand in Louis'. They walked together, hands clasped, to the living room and sat next to each other on the couch. Louis turned towards Harry, their knees touching, and ran his hand through his hair. 

“Ok... This will be weird for me. But I know that you will understand and listen, yeah?”

“Of course, Lou. You can tell me anything.”

“So... I've been thinking these past couple weeks... About how we- we-...”

“Lou,” Harry whispered, “Take your time. I'm here.” Harry puts his hands over Louis' resting on his knees. 

“I'm afraid,” Louis whispers, “I'm afraid you won't believe me or I'll sound stupid.”

“Babe... You won't. Whatever you say, I'll believe you.”

“It's just... these last few weeks have been amazing. I love how our friendship is back to where I want it and how easy it is to be around you now. And of course...” Louis smirks, “the other stuff.”

Harry laughs, “Ah yes the other stuff.”

“Shh... let me continue,” Louis sighs rolling his neck attempting to relax himself, “I know how I have been the last couple years and especially the last year with Zayn leaving. And I'm...” He takes a deep breath in and exhales long and slow, “I'm glad we got married. Because I have been in love with your stupid face since I first saw your dumb curls on X Factor. And I'm so sorry it took something like this for me to tell you. And if you will let me, I'll make it up to you. For as long as you'll have me.”

Harry stared at Louis in disbelief. His eyes started watering and his hands were shaking. Everything he ever wanted was looking at him. This man. This boy he has loved for so long just told him he felt the same. He wants to hold him. Kiss him. Make love to him. But he also wants to run. Far away. It just feels too good to be true. There's just no way it's this easy.

“Harry? You ok?”

Harry slowly nods. “Lou... I... I have... questions I guess.”

“Yeah. I thought you might.”

“Why... Why now? Lou... Why?” Harry stands up and paces in front of where Louis is seated. His hands are on his hips and he is shaking his head. “Lou, fuck! I'm pissed! I should be so fucking happy that you are saying this to me. I should have kissed you and fucking brought you to my room so I could have sex with you like I've always wanted. But I'm not. I'm not, Lou! I'm mad that I have spent 5 years of my life being so incredibly grossly in love with you and that you evidently have felt the same and chose to hide it from me!” The tears flowed freely from Harry's eyes. Anger and sadness all at once. “I shouldn't be crying like this! I want to stop, but fuck I need an explanation. Please.”

“Ok! Ok! Harry I will, but please stop pacing,” Louis said choking on his own tears, “Please, babe, just sit again. I can't stand that I made you like this.”

Harry stops dead in his tracks. He's staring down at Louis and he might as well be 16 again. He sees this boy in front of him, red eyed and hand out asking him to sit. He can never say no to Louis. He sits down back next to Louis, knees touching once again. Louis takes his right thumb and runs it under Harry's left eye catching all the tears that have fallen and leaving his hand cupping Harry’s face. 

“I'm so sorry I made you cry again. I've done that a lot these past few months.” 

Harry shook his head and grabbed Louis hand that rested on his cheek. “I forgive you for all that, Lou. I just need something... ok?”

“Yeah I get that. So I'll talk. And I'm not sure how to explain myself without seeming really cliché. But honestly... I was scared. Scared and completely oblivious as to how you felt. And I wish that wasn't my answer but that's the truth. Now that I look back at our old performances and interviews and shit, it couldn't be more obvious how you felt about me. Or how I felt about you. But I was scared... I didn't want to be the vulnerable one and be the first to tell you how much I loved you. I thought you'd reject me and I couldn't handle it. Then the group would have been affected by it as well. So I did what I thought was best and... distanced myself.”

Louis clears his throat willing himself not to sob. Harry is watching him intently. 

“Now that I really look back on everything I can't help but be so fucking mad and disappointed at myself. I could have been with you for so long. And happy. We may have gotten married for real! You know that? I know you do. But now we're here. And I'm next to you and I finally feel happy. Harry, I cannot say sorry enough to you. For hurting you for so long, even if I was stupidly oblivious in doing so. But I'm telling you if you forgive me... You're it for me. I'm yours.”

Harry let out a wet sob and put his face into his hands. Louis moved immediately taking Harry into his arms. He rubbed his hand up and down Harry's back while he continued to sob. 

“I'm not asking you for a response or even an answer,” Louis whispered into Harry's hair, “I don't deserve it. Please take all the time in the world, babe. I'm done hiding.”

Harry sat up suddenly and pulled Louis' face forward smashing their lips together. It was violent yet passionate. He pulled away fast putting his forehead against Louis'. 

“Babe... shut up,” Harry says, “Just stop fucking talking. Stop. I want you. You're mine. I'm yours. For good. I'm never letting you leave this house and fuck off with the divorce. Got it?”

Louis smiled, “Yes sir. Agreed.”

Harry laughed kissing Louis again, softer this time. Longer and with all their love pouring out for each other in this kiss. Years of repression. Louis pulled away this time grabbing Harry's hair. 

“Now...” Louis said, “I have been waiting years for this. I want you to fuck me.”

“Lou... I will be happy to fuck you... But first, I am going to make love to you. Like I have always wanted.”

“You are such a cheesy fuck. Who says that?” Louis says laughing.

Harry stands up, putting his hand out for Louis to take. Louis grabbed his hand and stood up allowing himself to be pulled into Harry's chest. Harry ran his hand through Louis' hair smiling softly at him. 

“The man you love says things like that. Get used to it.”

 

Harry leads Louis into his bedroom. Soft light pours in through the cream colored curtains, almost spotlighting Harry's red duvet. He turns around and hugs Louis tightly, whispering in his ear, “I'm nervous...”

Louis pulls back and holds Harry's jaw with his hand. “Why, love? You've had sex before.”

Harry shakes his head. “No that's not it. I'm nervous because you are everything I have ever wanted in years and here you are, standing in front of me, and you said everything I've ever wanted to hear. I just...,” Harry drops his head and starts nervously playing with the waistband of Louis' boxers, “I think you're going to run away...”

Louis grabs Harry's hands and yanks them down to his sides. Harry's head stays down, almost ashamed of thinking so negatively. 

“Harry look at me... now.”

Harry looks up, eyes glossed over and meets Louis' eyes for the first time since they entered his room. 

“You've known me since I was 18, right? Been through a lot together. You know me better than anyone. Now... Look me in my face. Am I lying?”

Harry stood frozen, staring into the eyes of the only man he has ever and will ever love. Seeing the vulnerability just about breaks him. Louis is terrified. Louis is sure. Louis is truthful. 

“I'm here with you. And I'm sorry it took years and this marriage and being forced to live together to finally soften me up enough to tell you. I know this seems fast. And I know it seems like its too good to be true--”

“Vain...” Harry smiles. 

“Hush now,” Louis smiles back, “It's not me I'm talking about. You are too good to be true. You are the one allowing me into your life and heart and listening to me spew all my bullshit. I'm the lucky one.”

Harry laughs then and quickly presses his lips to Louis'. “I'd say we are both lucky to have had to piss at the same time.”

“Harold! Ruining a beautiful moment with bodily functions. Tisk-tisk.” 

“Moments over. I really want to kiss you.”

“That all?” Louis says with a smirk tracing Harry's laurels, “Because you can do more than that.”

Harry smiles leading Louis backwards towards his bed, kissing him everywhere, lips, neck, collarbones. He gently leads Louis to lay on his back while Harry kneels in between his knees. Harry pulls away from Louis and sits back on his heels. 

“What can I do, Louis?” Harry asks running his hands up and down Louis' knees. 

Louis swallows audibly. “Whatever you want.”

Harry shakes his head. “Come now, Louis. I don’t want to do anything you don't want.”

“ugh!” Louis exclaims arching his back, “You're going to tease now?! Come off it!” He makes grabby hands towards Harry, “Come back here and kiss me.”

Harry fondly smiles down at Louis. He slowly brings himself back down to Louis' lips running his hands down Louis' thighs and lands on his hip bones. They kiss each other softly yet with passion. Like they have nothing in the world to do or worry about. Their tongues glide softly against each others, tasting every part of their mouths. Louis' hands never leave Harry's hair, Harry's hands hold fast to Louis' hips. 

It starts with a stutter. Harry's hips moving ever so slightly into Louis. He can feel himself growing hard just kissing Louis and feeling skin on skin. 

“Louis?” Harry says pulling away slightly.

“No no no... More kissing,” Louis says breathlessly. 

Harry smiles into their kiss. “I don't want to stop either... I just thought we could be naked...”

Louis smiles back into the kiss and giggles, “Then take my pants off, Styles.” 

Harry sits back again on his heels, taking the waistband of Louis' boxers and pulling them down in one swipe.

“Jesus Harry! I would have lifted my bum for you!” 

Harry stands up and removes his clothing. “Nah, would have taken too long and I am already missing kissing you.” When he removes his shorts, his semi-hard cock sways back and forth. 

“Fuck me, Harry... I don't think I'll ever get used to your dick.”

“You haven't even had it in you yet!” Harry says with a laugh kneeling back on the bed. 

“Bit nervous for that to be honest. You're quite big. Been a while for me.” 

Harry lays back down, half on Louis with his left leg slung over his thigh, kissing Louis' neck and running his fingers in the nape of his neck. “How long?” 

“Bottoming? Oh... wow... I guess more than a year. Can't remember.”

“A secret boyfriend or hook up?”

Louis pushed Harry onto his back and swung himself over to straddle Harry's hips. He placed his hands on Harry's butterfly tattoo running his thumbs up and down. He felt Harry's hands start to lightly crawl from his knees to his thighs. 

“Oh? Jealous are we?” 

“No,” Harry replied, “Not at all. Just curious. I always thought I knew about your hookups.”

“It was just a hookup if you must know. It was one of the many times El and I broke up before we actually broke up...”

“Hey...” Harry said softly, sitting up and taking Louis' chin between his thumb and forefinger, “I'm sorry I brought it up. I thought I was being playful. I didn't mean--”

Louis kissed Harry swiftly. “You didn't spoil anything, babe. I'm still hard as a fuckin rock and all I can think about is you in me. So Harold... Stop talking. Talking is later. Fucking is now.”

And with that, Louis grabbed a handful of Harry's hair and yanked him forward in a bruising kiss, passion pouring out of him. Tongues sliding against one another. Their groins meeting in a perfect pressure allowing them to slide back and forth relieving the heat that had built up between them. Harry pulled back suddenly, out of breath. 

“Babe... I can't wait anymore. I want to feel you.”

Louis smiled, “Well, what are you waiting for?” he said taking Harry's hand and guiding it back to his arse and squeezing, “Touch me.”

Harry brought his other hand around and held a firm grasp on Louis' ass. Using his newfound control, he flipped them again settling on top of Louis and firmly grinding against him. 

“Tell me now how you want this. Like this? Or do you want me to flip you around?”

“I want to see you. I want to watch your face when you fuck me.”

“Make love...”

“Shut up Harry!” 

They laughed together. Kissing. Running their hands over each others naked bodies. Everything they did felt right. They fit together. Just like they did when they were 18. 

Harry brought his hand to his mouth, sucking on his index and middle finger. Once wet, they drifted down in between their bodies. He dropped his head into the junction of Louis' neck and started to suck as his fingers slid between Louis' arsecheeks rubbing his hole. 

“Holy shit...” Louis breathed, “You're touching me... Oh my God... Harry...”

Harry kept sucking and nipping at Louis' neck. “I know babe... I'm trying not to come already.”

Louis cackled between moans, “I can't think about that now!”

“What? Me coming touching your ass?”

“No, you coming untouched by only touching my asshole!” 

“Oh god... You're making this sound extremely filthy... Don't say asshole! Don't say anything anymore.”

“You know me! I'll never stop--”

Harry suddenly pushes his middle finger into Louis. Louis lets out a moan rivaling a porn star that Harry catches with his tongue. He continues plunging his tongue into Louis' mouth while sliding his finger in and out of Louis' ass. 

“Fuck Harry!” Louis yelps pulling away from Harry's mouth, “It burns a bit. Remember, its been a while.”

Harry pulls his finger out of Louis. He stares directly into Louis' eyes and brings his finger to his mouth, sticking out his tongue and running it from palm to tip. Louis stammers out nonsense syllables as Harry gets up off the bed to walk to his dresser. 

“Are you kidding me, Harold? That was downright fucking foul what you just did.”

“What?” Harry shrugs, “I wanted to taste you. So I did.” He rifles through his drawers finally finding his lube and a couple condoms. He walks back over to the bed, setting down the supplies next to Louis and taking his place on top of him. He continues kissing Louis, fumbling with the lube, trying to keep their lips attached. Louis huffs out a laugh into his mouth. 

“Harry... Stop. Get the fucking lube. You have the rest of your life to kiss me...”

Harry froze. His body stiffened. Louis went to speak, but he was also frozen. In fear? Possibly.  
Neither said anything for what felt like hours. Harry's mouth was dry. His mind racing. Could that have been a passing comment? Sure. But... What if? Of course they had both mentioned the marriage, but would they stay married? What was happening?

Louis swallowed a dry lump in his throat. “Harry--”

“Shh... Louis. Just... I don't know if I'm ready to hear whats about to come out of your mouth.”

“What if... you are?”

Harry's head dropped onto Louis' chest. His lungs couldn't get air deep enough. A panic attack was shortly following; he could feel it. Louis ran his hand softly on Harry's back whispering in his ear “Breathe babe. Stay with me.”

Harry laughed softly. He felt Louis' hand move from his lower back up to his hair, lovingly running his fingers through the curls. 

“Is it my turn to talk again?” Louis asked softer than hes ever spoken. He felt Harry nod into his chest, never lifting up to look at him. 

“Ok love. I didn't mean to blurt that out. It wasn't my intention. Somehow between the two of us we keep ruining our sex,” Louis giggles, “Anyways, my dear, I'll continue. I've thought about it and I have decided that I refuse to leave you again. I absolutely put my foot down on this. I will not be leaving your home, your life, your arms. Nothing. Deal with it. Now, what does this mean for our marriage? Well, that's up to you. We can stay married for the rest of our lives if you want. I'm good with that. Or we can get divorced.” 

Louis arches his back to lift Harry's head off his chest. Harry's eyes are streaming out tender tears, his cheeks red and dewy and lips subtlety shaking. Louis wipes away the wetness with his thumb and smiles at him. 

“We can. Divorce is an option. I mean, I'm still not leaving you. You're mine. But... we could get divorced. Then I can court you all proper like your mum would like. Take you on dates, post selfies of us eating ice cream, get a dog together...” Louis voice drops again to a whisper, “Propose the right way. Sober. On one knee. With the beautiful ring you deserve.”

Harry brokenly sobs, dropping his head again. 

“I know how I operate and this may seem nuts. But I will do whatever you want.”

Harry takes a deep breath in and exhales slowly as he raises his head again to look at Louis. Through glassy eyes, he stared down at the man he has loved for so long saying all the right things to him. 

“Can you do me one thing, Lou?” 

“Anything.”

“Just slap me right across the face so I know if I'm awake or not” 

Louis belted out a laugh and lightly tapped his hand against Harry's cheek. “That's all you get, babe.” 

They both smiled knowingly at each other reveling in the knowledge that they found it. And all it took was a drunken mistake in Vegas. Harry kissed Louis again... and again and again. 

“Alright slow poke,” Louis mumbled between kisses, “get on with it.”

Harry pulled back smiling, hand searching again for the lube. “Are you ever patient?” 

“Not when I can feel your dick rubbing on my ass and it's not in me yet!” 

Harry laughed again, pouring some lube on his fingers, overestimating the squeeze and getting a large dollop on the bed. With urgency, he brought his fingers down to rub against Louis' hole. He felt Louis clench and recoil. 

“Oi! Harold! Thats cold!” 

Harry leaned forward and kissed Louis three times quickly murmuring his apologies. He continued rubbing the lube against Louis and slowly pushed two fingers in. Louis' eyes shut and his breathing staggered. He took a couple deep breaths allowing Harry to continue moving his long fingers in and out of his hole. Louis opened his eyes and Harry was staring with concern. 

“Ok?” Harry whispered. 

“Yeah,” Louis breathed, “Just keep going. Don't want you to stop.” 

“Never...”  
Harry continued to move until he felt Louis start to relax. He pulled out his fingers and reached for a condom. Louis' looked at him puzzled. 

“What... why... I'm-” Louis stuttered out. 

“Babe... whens the last time you were tested? I'm guessing a while ago.” Louis nodded. “As much as I'd love to feel you and just you, I reckon we should be safe. Yeah?” 

“I know, I know. Just hurry please. I'm ready. I wanna feel you regardless.” 

Harry started rolling the condom down his shaft with a smirk. “Well if you'd ever shut that beautiful mouth of yours, I'd get in you sooner.” 

Louis made a zipper motion across his lips and threw away the imaginary key. Harry poured more lube onto his hand and stroked it onto the condom. He positioned himself at Louis' entrance and pressed his head onto Louis' rim. He leaned forward as if to kiss Louis and stopped, speaking directly into his mouth softly. 

“By the way... that 'shut up' suggestion stops now.” He pushes himself fully into Louis until his hips his Louis' ass. Louis lets out a moan and grips onto Harry's ass holding him in. 

“JESUS.... CHRIST.... Harry! Fucks sake! Don't fuckin move... Fuckin fuck!” 

“I won't... I won't. Are you alright?” 

“Yeah yeah yeah... I just need a second... Holy fuck... Harry, you're in...”

Harry laughs. “Yeah babe, I am.”

“You're huge... Fuck is that stupid?” Louis asks breathing heavily, “I'm not saying the right things am I? Oh my god...” 

“Babe shhh,” Harry says reaching up and stroking Louis' hair, “It's fine. You're fine. I love you.”

“Jesus, Harry I love you but you are getting lube in my hair!” 

Harry pulls his hand back quickly to inspect. “I'm so sorry! I forgot!” 

“Its alright, Harry. Just... move ok?” 

Harry slowly pulls his hips back and presses them back in. Louis lets out a small whimper as Harry slowly moves back and forth letting Louis get used to his size. Louis' breath evens out and he grabs Harry by the back of his head and brings him down for a kiss. 

“Harry?”

“Louis?” 

“Fuck me. Come on.” 

“Now Louis,” Harry states moving his hips faster, “I told you I was going to make love to you. We'll fuck later.” 

“Ugh!” Louis exclaims bringing both hands back to Harry's ass pulling him forward, “God dammit, you're deep.” 

Harry moaned and brought his face into Louis' neck as he starting humping into him with more power. 

“You feel like... everything I thought you would... Dammit...” 

“Harry... I'm-” Louis stammered as he came suddenly across his stomach. His moans stopped as he held his breath riding out his orgasm as Harry's thrusts slowed. Louis shook his head and met Harry's thrusts as a faster pace indicating he wanted Harry to continue. He cupped Harry's face and brought it to his own forehead staring into his eyes. 

“I love you.” 

Harry clenched his eyes shut as he moved faster into Louis. “Say it again, Lou. Please.” 

Louis smiled moving Harry's hair from his face, “I love you, Harry Edward Styles.” 

“Fuc---” Harry started as he thrust in and halted coming into the condom, slowly grinding into Louis as he lost himself in his own climax. Louis smiled kissing Harry's eyelids. Harry's breathing started to slow as he could feel Louis rubbing his small hands up and down his back. He looked up to stare at Louis, the man he loved, laying beneath him, sweaty, smiling, satisfied. 

“I can't believe that just happened,” Harry said giggling, “I thought I'd just be wanking to the possibility of that forever.” 

“Same here. I can't believe you're still inside me. Do you want me to be sore?” 

“Sorry. I just...” Harry stopped pulling out slowly from Louis and removing the condom, “I wasn't ready yet. Don't wanna leave you.” 

“Throw away the condom and get me a damn rag, you silly person.” 

“Never change.” Harry got up to toss the condom in the bathroom and wet a flannel for Louis. 

“Make sure it's not cold!” Louis yelled. 

“Just for that I'm going to stick it in the icebox!”

“Stick it in me instead!”

“I just did!” Harry walked back to Louis tossing the flannel on his stomach. “Now hush up while I grab us a quick water.” 

Louis sat up and reached out to Harry, “No no no... Come lay with me. Don't want water. Want you next to me. Come now!” 

Harry smiled. Who was he to deny this beautiful boy? He slid back into his bed, right next to Louis. Louis turned and curled into Harry's side, resting his head right above the butterfly. Harry's hand came up to stroke Louis' hair. He kissed the top of Louis' head and breathed him in. 

“Harry?” 

“Hmm?”

“You gonna fall asleep?”

“Not sure. I'm rather comfy right now so it's possible. You?” 

“I'm always up for a nap. Especially now that I can cuddle next to you.” 

“Are we going from not even friends to that disgusting cheesy couple right away?”

Louis turned to place his chin on Harry's chest to look at him. “Oh I'm sorry Mr. I want to make love to you. Are you not wanting to be cheesy?” 

Harry smiled down at him. This tanned blue eyed boy who smells of faint cigarettes, sweat, and cologne. His dream man. His husband. Harry started laughing. 

“What are you laughing at, Harold!?”

“I cannot believe that we are laying here naked together after sex and we're married. Like what happened?”

Louis signed. His eyes pondering the many thoughts floating around his brain. 

“Fate? Lets go with fate.”

“I'll take it.” 

 

4 months later

Today was the day. The deadline. The court date where Harry and Louis go before the judge and can finally get divorced. Liam and Niall are already in the courtroom waiting for Harry and Louis' arrival. Both of them knowing exactly what was about to happen. 

The court room doors opened up. In walked Harry and Louis, hand in hand as they strode up towards the bench. The smiles on Liam and Niall's faces could be seen from miles away. As they walked through the wooden gate to the front of the bench, Louis pulled back on Harry's hand. Harry quick turned back to look at him. 

“You sure?” Louis whispered. 

“100%,” Harry whispered back kissing him lightly. 

The gavel knocked loudly gaining back their attention. The judge sat looking on sternly at the couple. 

“Today, we have the case of Styles V Tomlinson--”

“Sir? Can I please interject rather quickly and I promise you we'll be out of your hair so fast?”

“Mr. Styles I assume? Please do.”

Harry smiled at the judge. “Your honor, we served our time. Six months of being forced to be married to Louis, living under my roof, eating my food, leaving his dirty clothes everywhere... It was difficult to be honest.”

“I assume you are going forward with the dissolution of his marriage?” 

“Your honor--”

“Yes,” Louis interjected, “We are, sir. I'd like to no longer be married to Harry Styles.” 

“Fair enough. Let's start the process-”

“Because... I never wanted to marry him in this way. Drunk and with no memory.” Louis fondly looked over at Harry, “I want to do it correctly. So divorce us please because I want to marry the shit out of him.”

Harry laughed at that squeezing Louis' hand harder. “Did you have to swear?” he whispered. 

The judge hit the gavel once. “Now that I have your attention do you mind if I do my job?” 

The two lovers smiled at each other again and nodded at the judge. Because this was it. The finalization of their drunken night in Vegas that started six months ago. Louis thought it would end their friendship. Harry thought it would end the band. But they were both wrong. It wasn't an end. It was a beginning.


End file.
